Young Writers Society

Hello!

I understand that this was a 5 minute poem, but I'll review it like you spent your entire life on it, kay? ^-^

So, the title is very exact. I was about to say, "this is an ode to sunflowers," and then I realized that you had titled it that so. As an ode, you're basically just extolling the virtues of something, which is a type of thing that I usually don't like, but hey, that's what an ode calls for.

A few picky things:

To number thousands on a green canvas.

Fragment: consider revising.

All are different,
Sizes and shapes and shades,
They continue to grow next to their friends.

Consider your punctuation here. Actually, consider it everywhere. You don't have to have a punctuation mark at the end of every line, just like you don't have to have capitals at the beginning of every line. Think about what makes your poem flow the best. The correct way to read a poem out loud is not to pause at the end of lines as is our natural instinct, but to pause only at the punctuation that tells you to pause. I recommend punctuating as you would in prose, but that's my personal style. I find it works, though.
In this specific quote, I recommend removing the comma after "different," and changing the comma after "shades" to a period, because the next line is a whole sentence. Though, the line after ("yellow with bright eyes") is a fragment that seems to tie in to the previous line... Check your punctuation.

I was going to put several more things here, but I realized most of these problems could be solved with a thorough punctuation examination. Let me know if you need help with this.

Other flowers cannot compare.

Without them the world would be gray.

These lines seem to have... conflicting purposes. The first line is saying that the sunflowers are great and other flowers are not, but the second line seems to be saying that other flowers (without THEM --> other flowers) are needed to keep the world from being gray.

Similar to that: (so similar that I'm thinking that maybe you did it on purpose, though I'm not seeing any value in doing it, because it mostly confuses your reader)

Better than the sun,
Without it they would not be,
For it is the sun that gives them life.

This is saying sunflowers are better than the sun, but can anything really be better than something else if they need that something else for life? Hm. Interesting to ponder. This part makes more sense-as is that the other part, bu they seem to have opposite messages, so I am conflicted. I think you just have confusing pronouns. You should check your pronouns.

Sunflowers are friends.

Friends.... with... who? The sun? you? everyone? That's a good question.

So yes, I understand this is an ode, but I wish it was less simple, and had more metaphors etc. I bet that you could, with a bit of editing and brainstorming, turn this into something more than it is. I'd love to see an allusion to Van Gogh's painting. Other than that, I'm not sure what other advice I can give you. Try to elaborate more on the images, and find more emotions that just describing what sunflowers re, look like, and do.
I know you can do it!

Keep writing!
~fortis