No One. (I edited the old poem but I think I like the original better)

I've read this before.

This brought absolutely nothing new to the table. I enjoyed it, yes, but it brought me the same poem that I often get when I scroll poetry on this site. It's a bit elementary and getting across a point that many already now. Everyone is someone, yes, you sure lifted their enthusiasm. Maybe expanding your point more and bringing new arguments to make this 100% better would be awesome. That's just advice. Do what you want.

thanks.

Hey, Spaulds! Artemis28 here for Team Tardis. Happy Review Day!

Let's begin! So, first off. When you ask if you're perfect or if anyone's perfect, it should end in a question mark. Also, capitalize "god". It's a respectful thing.

"Am I perfect, No.

Is anyone perfect, No.

Thank god we are not."

Right here, you need to connect "some" and "one" if you want to keep up that trend.

"Some one needed."

And in the very last line, it looks like you put too many spaces between "if" and "no." You should probably fix that.

So, throughout this piece, I got confused. You started out simple enough, talking about how no one is perfect. Then you overuse "no one" and "someone" and my brain began to go like, "What?" Because I didn't fully understand it. I think you should go through and make it a little less cryptical, a little less enigmatic. That would make this a lot better.

Good job on it, though, and never stop writing!

-Artemis28, Team Tardis

This is a unique, and thoughtful, poem, Spaulds. I've seen a lot of poems that have dealt with, and criticized, our need to be perfect. They each highlight that there are so many people that feel as though they must be perfect and strive, despite the impossibility, to do so, often with horribly catastrophic results. However, this one is different. The way that you communicated this message is not only vivid and leaves a strong impression in the reader's mind, but unique. In your poem, your main ideas is that the only way that you can be perfect is to be no one, and no one is just that; nobody. This sheds a strong light on our futile efforts for perfection. After all, no one is not important, not needed, not with talent, because they don't exist at all. I love how you pose a question to the people who read this poem - why would you want to be nobody? If you're perfect, you wouldn't want to strive for anything. You wouldn't have anything at all. You would have no friends, no life, nothing that makes us human beings. It may be hard to not compare yourself, as you state, to a state of perfection, but perfection is not only superficial, but nonexistent. Your message is beautiful, and I must commend you for the way that you've communicated it so elegantly and powerfully.

Beyond that, I found the other aspects of this poem effective. Your organizational structure is powerful and thoughtful, as is the concise, to-the-point tone of your poem. Your poem is direct. It sends the reader on a journey across the definition of perfectionism, and why it is better that we are someone, why we are flawed, and why we do have lives, than if we are 'perfect.' This poem does a nice job of elaborating strongly each of your points, and your details and examples are beautifully concocted and presented. In all, I must commend you for not only your message, but the execution of your message.

This poem was amazing, Spaulds. The concept is unique, and the way that you directly communicate it just as good. You do a wonderful job of exposing the human nature and its flaws and benefits, as well as the uselessness of being perfect. I enjoyed reading this poem from start to finish, and, in conclusion, I loved it. Well done!

Hello!

I really enjoyed the ideas in this poem. They are very strong and very well thought out. It's definitely something that I am constantly pondering over myself. I think this is a subject that a lot of people can relate to, because it makes the reader question who they really are and if they're okay with being themselves when compared with other people.

The conclusion of this poem is killer! I absolutely love how the last two lines connect in a really clever manner. Well done! It really ties the poem together and keeps the reader thinking.

The only recommendation I have for you is to alter how you are getting your point across to the reader. It seems that you are doing a bit too much of "telling" rather than showing. Your poem would be much stronger if you allowed the reader to feel these lines. It would not only allow the reader to feel connected to the writing, but it would also force the reader to think deeper to really grasp the meaning of the poem. I think you should give the reader the opportunity to figure these things out through your writing rather than telling them what you think.

Overall I think that you are a very strong writer and think the ideas you have with this poem could be developed into something so much more powerful if you pushed to convey them in a different way. I love the connections you made in the writing and how well thought out these ideas were. It really made me think, and overall I think that is truly what you are pushing for when you write. I definitely want to read more that you have written, and hope that maybe something I said will help you.