Young Writers Society

Hello! Just Jaylin hear to leave a quick review. I loved the poem and how mature it was. It was a perfect symbolization of the brutal ways of life. You did a awesome job relating this poem to how life has no sensor and shows no mercy. The figurative language in this poem was outstanding also. The third stanza was my favorite of the poem because how realistic it is. The world has a way of building you up then slashing you down again and has no care of the rubble left behind from it. My only complaint with this poem is that you are missing punctuation marks for when you end your statements. I thought you did amazing! Keep up the good work!

Hello,

This is one of the more mature poems I've read on YWS, despite its conciseness and simplicity. You use simile very well, and your structure compliments your poem well. You convey your theme of loss in an interesting manner by examining a specific loss in each stanza. I'm intrigued by the second stanza, which appears to be about the loss of sexual innocence. The use of the word "purity" seems to evince that you have some moral feelings about sexuality, perhaps motivated by religious belief. I'd be interested in hearing more about your thoughts on the subject because it seems that any kind of moral sentiment is subverted by the last stanza, as it briefly touches on how memory becomes insignificant due to the ephemeral nature of experience. Have you personally reconciled objective morality with the insignificance of conscious experience, or am I reading too much into it?

Great work.