Hello!
Stegosaurus here for a review!
I liked this chapter for its description and suspense. In the beginning, it seems to have the suspense feeling, along with the idea/foreshadowing of what might be coming next or soon. Another thing I think of, is zombies. I would think that this whole novel would be centered around zombies yet it seems to be about the narrator is in an orchestra. All in all, I think the orchestra is symbolized as something like death since black, from what I have heard, is dealing with plagues and death, and all that fun stuff.
Also in the beginning, it seemed to be a dream-like state and should be in italics or something, since it seemed to be the narrator's thoughts instead of speaking. You also seem to make the whole chapter a dream as the MC runs to the neighbor's door and try to find help (since they are shaken up from the nightmare).
I haven't read the previous chapters, so if I get anything wrong, do feel free to tell me.
I enjoyed the dialogue and the sense of imagery throughout your chapter, as the reader can feel the thoughts of the narrator and can sense the feeling the person is having.
Just…stop…just stop…PLEASE, I BEG YOU, STOP!
I like ellipsis in some cases, as it seems to be a thought then a pause etc. The way you used the ellipsis is a pause the narrator's breathing. Also the caps seems to include the anger and shock in the voice.
Overall, this was a nicely done chapter. I cannot wait to read more of it.
If you like me to go over anything, let me know!
Steggy
Points: 25891
Reviews: 279
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