Author's Note: This is a one shot that was written in a few hours. There is some violence in this piece but I am fairly proud of the whole thing. I didn't know where else to put this so i put it in General Fiction
There was silence like it had been for the last six months. She just stared at me with those sad eyes as she got in the car. I turned the ignition on and pulled out of the parking space. She was distance and emotionless staring out the window. I turned on the radio to the kill the tension and she turned it right back off.
“Bill aren’t you going to say anything?”
I just remained silent and kept my focus on the road. The only sound in the car was her muffled cries as her face was in her hands. We rode like that for some time, both of us to damn stubborn to say anything.
“How did we get like this, Bill? We have been going to marriage counseling for six months. Yet the only time we say more than two words to each other is during these sessions. Please Bill talk please, I love you. “
I did not want to open my mouth for fear of all the venom and disdain I had in my heart would spill out. I wanted to say it was because she retreated into the church instead of focusing on our issues. I was indifferent, I wanted to believe in a higher power but I couldn’t. So I opened my mouth to speak, to finally let out all that I had been holding in but she interrupted me.
“God loves you, Bill and I love you. I know you have been hurt in the past. You need to stop blaming yourself for shit. There is forgiveness that only God can give.”
"There is no God." With that I hit the accelerator; trees flew past us everything a blur.
“What are you doing Bill?” She screamed.
“We will see who is right about God.” I said.
The car went speed faster towards the sharp turn ahead. She tried to open the door but I locked it. I let out a little chuckle. We kept going straight and bashed through the barrier that was behind the sharp turn.
The car seemed to fly if only for a second and it dove in the rocky ground nose first. The car leaned forward and smashed on the roof. Glass shattered everywhere, I couldn’t move my neck. I blacked out. I came too quite some time later, I tried to move my neck to see her but it was stiff. I had to force it and ignore the pain, so I slowly turned it. There I saw her lifeless body; a huge piece of glass had embedded into her neck, blood everywhere. I closed my eyes and there was darkness.
I looked up and saw a bright light in the darkness. I laughed to myself thinking how clichéd, this was. I heard whispers and laughter in the darkness but I walked toward the light. She was beside me; she had the biggest smile on her face. She walked in front of me motioning me to follow her into the light. I tried to follow but something was holding me back. I panicked as she grew further away. I tired screaming out “save me” but the darkness muted my voice. I ran toward her but it seemed to be useless.
The laughter grew louder and the whispers seemed to be in my ears. I tried to push away and sprint to my goal but I felt arms wrap around my neck. The arms were cold like a corpse, something like arms grabbed my legs and knocked me down. I resisted crawling away but something grabbed my back. And I was pulled away into the darkness. It engulfed me and my entire being. Now there is only darkness.
The End
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Very dynamic writing I must say, your execution and style of your story was very well thought out. It was something new and interesting. Also your descriptions were precise and imaginative and there was nothing really wrong with your piece as far as I could see. Anyways all in all it was solid composition. okay I'm finish and now I bid you adieu. Thanks for the read.
It was good but you need character description. It is needed in all forms of writing without it you can't really get a picture of the things happening in the story. Other than that it was good. Keep up the good work.