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Jamaica: A phanfic

by WannabeWriter112


Disclaimer: I don't believe that Phan is real. I just ship it really hard. I don't know if this will just be a one shot or if I will add more. If you like it, I might write more! Also, this isn't very accurate, because I wan't there when this trip took place. Thanks!

"Look, Dan! It's a lizard!" 

Dan grinned in amusement at the sight of Phil marveling over a croaking Lizard. Phil whipped out his yellow video camera and panned in slowly on the creature in order to document the animal's actions. Dan and Phil, along with a group of other youtubers, were in Jamaica testing out water proof cameras for a camera company called Xacti. Dan had never imagined that youtube would carry him as far as a trip to Jamaica with other, more successful youtubers. Not that he was complaining.

"All right everyone. Let's head to the hotel."

Dan clapped Phil on the shoulder. "C'mon mate, let's get going. There'll be plenty more opportunities to get video footage."

Phil turned around with a sad puppy dog face and said, "But the lizard's so cool! And look, a butterfly!"

He raced over to a plant on which rested an exotic colored butterfly. Apon Phil reaching the butterfly, it flew away. Phil turned around, puppy dog eyes back in place and moaned a sad "aw!" Dan felt his stomach flip, which was a familiar feeling around Phil. Swallowing back a rush of butterflies, Dan said, 

"There'll be plenty other butterflies, now c'mon! Everyone's leaving us." Not that Dan would have minded being alone on a beach in Jamaica with Phil. 

They picked up their luggage and ran to follow the rest of the youtubers who were chatting animatedly about the next few days. All Dan could think about was Phil's ocean blue eyes and adorable expression as he gushed to Dan about the beauty of the island and the fact that he would be seeing Phil shirtless for most of the day for a week. Dan felt blood rushing to his cheeks and he nodded along to Phil's story and hid his face behind his fringe the best he could.

They soon arrived at their hotel, and everybody marveled at the beauty of the building. There was a gorgeous garden outside, and the hotel had a path leading directly to the beach. They traipsed in and headed off to their bedrooms. Dan and Phil had been given a room to share which made Dan's heart pound faster than normal and his stomach tighten. He remembered the first time they had shared a room(and a bed).

Flashback 

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Dan rolled over in bed and looked at Phil, who's eyes were shining in the light of his laptop that was still playing an episode of Doctor Who that neither of them were really watching.

Did Dan believe in love at first sight? He thought back to when he first clicked on a video of Phil's, drawn in by the image of a smiling man with soft black hair swept to the right, framing his blue eyes which were sparkling with joy. From the first "Hey Guys!" he was hooked. Three hours later, he had watched every single AmazingPhil video,and visions of the most amazing, kind hearted, funny man he had ever seen danced in his sleepy brain as he fell asleep at 2:00 in the morning.

Now, looking into the eyes of this so very real man whom Dan had dreamed about for so long, he had to say,

"Yeah. I think I do."

Phil smiled. "Me too."

It took a lot of self control to not pin Phil down on the bed and attach their lips together at that moments.

End of flashback

Apon unlocking their door and walking in, Dan said in confusion,

"They've only given us one bed."

Phil walked up behind him and dropped his luggage down on the ground.

"We'll make do," he said and pulled out his camera. Now come on, let's give them a room tour."

                                                                     .     .

Later that night, Dan climbed into bed and pulled off his shirt. He'd just pulled out his laptop when a shirtless Phil traipsed out of their bathroom, causing his mouth to go dry. Phil climbed into bed next to Dan, their skin accidentally brushing gently causing Dan's mind to go into hyperactive mode. Tumbler wasn't as interesting to him that night as it normally was.

After an hour, Phil shut his laptop and yawned widely. Dan's mouth twitched, fighting an "aw" at the adorable sight. Phil looked at Dan and said,

"I'm going to sleep. You need the light on?"

Dan shook his head. "No, I think I'll turn in too. No 11:00 wake up time for me tomorrow."

Phil crawled out of bed to turn off the light, and Dan tried not to enjoy the view too much. As soon as the light went off, his heart started pounding in his ears. He was shirtless, in the dark, with Phil Lester, sharing a bed. Oh God.

Phil climbed back into bed and smiled at Dan.

" G'Night," he said sleepily.

"G'Night," Dan replied, trying not to sound too nervous.

As Phil fell asleep, Dan watched and smiled adoringly down at him. After a bit, he realized that what he was doing was too much like Edward Cullen and was really creepy, so he stopped and turned so his back was to Phil. However, at that moment, Phil shuffled closer to Dan and snaked an arm around his waist. Dan froze, not knowing if Phil was dreaming or awake. Eventually, though, he relaxed and pressed himself to Phil's chest, nuzzling Phil's chin. He wouldn't have too many more chances like this with Phil, he might as well make the most of it. Dan drifted off to sleep, tangled in Phil's limbes and smiling contentedly.


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User avatar
383 Reviews


Points: 19607
Reviews: 383

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Sun Jun 26, 2016 1:34 pm
Sujana wrote a review...



I'll admit, I haven't read any hardcore fanfiction since Sherlock murdered me, so I'm not sure how to deal with this. With my little knowledge of Dan and Phill and also my limited knowledge of Archive of Our Own, let's see what we can do for you today, shall we?

Apon Phil reaching the butterfly, it flew away.


You keep using apon when you should be using upon. Am I missing something?

Dan rolled over in bed and looked at Phil, who's eyes were shining in the light of his laptop that was still playing an episode of Doctor Who that neither of them were really watching.


I'm pretty sure you should be using a 'whose' in there, but correct me if I'm wrong. Also, I think you could split this sentence up so that the readers aren't too confused.

Apon unlocking their door and walking in, Dan said in confusion,


Again with the apon.

Now come on, let's give them a room tour."


You need to begin this sentence with a quotation mark.

Tumbler wasn't as interesting to him that night as it normally was.


Tumblr, not Tumbler.

What can I say about the story? It's incredibly cute, and I think that's how it was intended to be. The fluff is very fluffy, and it warms my heart even though I'm not that big of a fan. I'm not sure if Phil Lester is big enough of an adowable wittle man to be hung up on butterflies, but if he is, I need to start watching this guy's videos because what.

Anyway, great work here, and happy Review Day!

Signing out,

--EM.






Thanks for the review! I never realized that I was spelling upon incorrectly, so thanks for that! And I realized later that I spelled Tumblr wrong. I was typing this all way too fast. Thanks for the review and criticism! I appreciate it!



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54 Reviews


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Reviews: 54

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Sun Jun 26, 2016 1:32 pm
Desdemona wrote a review...



Hiya :)
Desdemona of Team Team Team (Not a typo) is here to drop a review :P

The Phandom is everywhere. This makes me really quite happy. However before I delve further into the many wonderful eccentricities of danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil, I have a review to work out :p

I just have a few bones to pick with this. Small bones, but bones nevertheless.

First of all, YouTube is capitalized, but not youtuber. I know it's crazy. Also, upon is spelt as upon, not "apon"

And that was all with grammar. Your punctuation marks, conjunctions, etc... are all on point! Well done :)

However, as Elisabeth mentioned above, I seriously suggest finding a way to separate flashbacks from the rest of the story. What I usually use are dashes, then italic, like this;

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you believe in,,,?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now it is very clear that it is a flashback, combined with hints that this is an event taking place in the past.

Anyways, I am a Phan shipper as well and I read this with a huuuuuge smile on my face. You captured the characters of Dan and Phil really well! I found myself imagining the setting and their dialogue without any effort because it was already so plausible.

All in all, I believe you've done a goof job with this and hope you'll continue to do so.

Keep writing!
~Mona






Thanks! I agree, I needed to find a better way to separate the flashback from the rest of the story. Thanks for the review!



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Sun Jun 26, 2016 2:25 am
CaptainJack wrote a review...



Hey there. It's just Lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin. I have to be on mobile today for my reviews so pardon any grammar or spelling mistakes of mine.
Being on mobile is also going to limit my ability to point out any grammar or spelling mistakes. I hope that if I find any, your next reviewer will be able to point them out. One quick note here. I think you might want to make the 'y' in 'youtube' and 'youtubers' a capital y because YouTube is a company. I know that often no one writes it with the cap there but this time I think you need it.

I'm not enough of a fan of Dan and Phil to decide if I ship Phan or not. I only picked this story up because I figured the little hit of knowledge I had in the subject would help me. This story will definitely draw in some real fans. I know of a couple who would love to review something like this.

For the flashback cues I think you might want to use at least bold. Maybe even add in some dashes or ~~~~. One of those two might help to mark the flashback points better. It's hard to see them when they are just in regular text. You may also want the disclaimer at the top to be in bold. It sort of mixes in with the rest of the story and just adds confusion.

The Edward Cullen comparison made me laugh. I didn't really expect to laugh in a piece like this, that seems to be focused and with a very serious tone.

The story came together very well in the end good job on that. Like I said before, the flashback was a bit bumpy. It doesn't seem to fit well with the rest of the story and a flashback here just sounds wrong. I can imagine this conversation going on in the present but as a past event it doesn't sound right. I think also having this question right before an uncomfortable situation, would add to characters weighing their options.

Well that's about all I have for now. I'm so glad I found this short work in the green room. Good luck on getting another review and on any future projects.
Happy Review Day!
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs






Thanks!




To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.
— Allen Ginsberg