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Hitch A Ride On My Thighs You Hive

by WWombat


Hitch a ride

On my thighs

You hive

Hide hide hide!

Rats aplenty

Rats aplenty

Rats aplenty

They're in the sack, yeah!


Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!


Hitch a ride

On my thighs

You hive

Connive connive connive!

Congregate in the

Corridors of

Lucid Freudian picnic rummy

Rummy rummy, yeah!


Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!


Hitch a ride

On my thighs

You hive

Hide hide hide!

Rats aplenty

Rats aplenty

Rats aplenty

They're in the sack, yeah!


Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me!

Ride me, Betty!


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245 Reviews


Points: 192
Reviews: 245

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Sun Sep 27, 2015 3:09 am
ChocolateCello wrote a review...



Hey, Cello here!

Not quite sure what to say about this one.

I agree with the last review quite a bit. "connive", "Freudian", and "lucid" feel out of place and I'm a bit confused on your use of 'hive'.

Okay, so you say that this is the lyrics to something, some maybe when it's put to a tune it all works, but I'm not a fan of the repetition. You say 'ride me' on thirty five of the fifty six lines. (That's far over half of the lines)

When songs get repetitive, listeners start to get tired, bored. It really doesn't attract a lot of positive attention.

The concept of this was simple and you dragged it out into fifty six lines. Maybe add some more 'story' to this. I don't know, just do something to spice it up.

This was definitely interesting to read but using 'ride me' as much as you did felt lazy. I hate that word, 'lazy'. I know you must have put time into this, whether it was a few minutes or a few days, and I'm not trying to diminish the value of your effort, but I have to be honest.

Sorry for such a negative review. Keep writing!
-ChocolateCello




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1210 Reviews


Points: 29861
Reviews: 1210

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Sun Sep 27, 2015 2:52 am
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there BirthdayHangman! Niteowl here to review these lyrics for the Crafty Scribblers this fine Review Day!

Lyrically, there's not a whole lot here, which makes it hard to analyze on a writing website. Nonetheless, I'll do my best.

The chorus is short, simple, and seems like it would stick in the listener's head, which is good. Overall, I'm getting the vibe that this song is supposed to be about someone "pure" getting down and dirty with someone who isn't. Maybe that's because when I think of the name Betty I think of Betty Draper or someone else old-fashioned.

I'm not sure what "hive" is supposed to mean in this context, except it's referring to a person. Maybe it's a regional slang term?

I also feel like the word salad in the middle is really jarring. Words like "connive", "Freudian", and "lucid" seem out of place in a song that otherwise uses really simple words. It might be worth writing more substantial verses building up to the simple chorus so the verbiage isn't all confined to one place.

Overall, you could do more with this in the verses if you wanted to, but the chorus is pretty memorable. Keep writing! :)





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