Young Writers Society

Hey, FlamingPhoenx here to review your song/poem.

So I listened to your song, and I loved it a lot, I really liked the part where you said

And I'll stretch my wings

And learn how to fly

Hi!
This is a good song - there's great imagery and descriptive language. However, I feel as though the ideas and emotions can be elaborated upon - if you choose to refine your work, of course. For example, in the last five lines, this is what I would add if you would like to refine:
So I might just have to fly threw them

I will see everything,

A feeling of freedom,

Looking at them,

Looking at who I been,

I will reach heaven,

So just let me stretch my wings,

A harmony of peace,

Above of things,

This moment I'll breathe,

For the very least.

These are all just suggested edits of course, it's your work - you're a great lyricist and I think you have a lot of potential so keep writing!

Hello there! I wanted to give a review on your piece of work. I never reviewed anything like this before, so here it goes...


Here's the positive.

- It sounds really good for a song.
- It has a good metaphor, the flying part reminded me of Maya Angelou's poem Caged Bird but without the caged part, like if Maya already freed herself.
- I also like the ending of the song.

Now, here's the not-so-positive, but i'm not saying it's bad.

- The words don't flow as well with the meaning, but it can be improved.
That's all, it's overall very good.
- Purple67

hello there Vulcanite! i’m here to leave a review, that hopefully is helpful. i’ve never reviewed lyrics before, so i hope this goes well.

i’m guessing that lines 1-7 count as the first verse. first off, the imagery is beautiful. you are doing a wonderful job of transporting your readers. i really like this line “Like I’m not even there”. it paints an image of what it feels like to fly without any burdens.

lines 8-11: i’m taking this is the chorus of sorts. i liked the key change that you added in. it sounds like you’re hitting all the notes!! the chorus is so hopeful and light, adding to the whole theme of flying in this song.

lines 12-20: i love the personification of nature in these lines. it gives depth and dimension to the story, as well as other, you might say, ‘characters’ in a sense.

lines 21-28: as the final lines of the song, i think it wraps it up nicely. it trails off so that the rest of the characters journey is up to the readers imagination. the hopeful end to this song is rhythmical and simple, but it has so much meaning!

final thoughts: overall, i liked it very much! the flow was amazing and the message and story to this was meaningful and important. besides a few grammatical errors, it was perfect! excellent job, and keep on writing!

~lulon

Question, where are the different parts of a song? Like, the chorus, bridge, etc... If we are getting real technical, I find this song lacking. Then again, I listen to Queen and Culture Club so my standards are kinda high.
Love your imagery and figurative speech.
Maybe this song would be easier to navigate if you broke it up into verses?
You’re definitely a great poet, but I’m not feeling this as a song. Nevertheless, keep writing!

I have yet to listen to the recording, but I love the metaphor of being able to fly; it seems like something so freeing and exhilirating. What I really like is that you consider the fact that you would have to land eventually, and flying forever just isn't possible.
That's a really interesting anecdote that I just..adore, honestly.

Now, onto the nitpicky stuff.

"So I just might have to fly threw them."
Should be: "I just might have to fly through them."

"Wiz past my face

Should be: "Whiz past my face."

Otherwise than that, I love this piece. You're a very good songwriter, IMO.

Cheers!

MintyLeaf <3

I love the motif of flying. I sounds angelic. I can read a lot of meaning from this-and I quite like the message, of freedom, of longing, of having the confidence to remain strong in the face of adversity. At least, thats how I read it. Also, your singing voice is lovely!
Criticism wise, there are a few minor spelling errors, and some varied punctuation might add to the feel of the lyrics. Overall though, I love it.

Hello there, @Vulcanite, it's Vilnius here with a review! <3

First off, you have an AMAZING voice, I just loved it!

Second off, I think that you have a neat little set of lyrics here. Because you use commas, I think that you also need to use periods for consistency, though.

One spelling mistake-- "threw" should be "through." To be honest, I keep forgetting about "threw" because I normally use "tossed" or something similar. XD

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!