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Stretch My Wings

by Vulcanite


Authors Note: You all wanted to hear me sing again so here we are https://vocaroo.com/1nJicF0BBqUY in joy:

I want to feel the air

Wiz past my face

Like I'm not even there,

I want to feel my feet lift

Off of the ground

Like I hadn't even left.

Oh, oh,

And I'll stretch my wings

And learn how to fly

Above all things,

I will rise

High up

Into the sky's

Let the sun

Follow me

Until I'm done

Because eventually

I will need to land

But I will still be happy

Because you let me stretch my wings

Oh, Oh,

So let the clouds depart,

So I can see the clear blue sky

But there’s a lot

So I might just have to fly threw them

I will see everything

I will reach heaven,

So just let me stretch my wings

Above all things.


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13 Reviews


Points: 167
Reviews: 13

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Sat Dec 05, 2020 7:51 pm
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Purple67 wrote a review...



Hello there! I wanted to give a review on your piece of work. I never reviewed anything like this before, so here it goes...


Here's the positive.

- It sounds really good for a song.
- It has a good metaphor, the flying part reminded me of Maya Angelou's poem Caged Bird but without the caged part, like if Maya already freed herself.
- I also like the ending of the song.

Now, here's the not-so-positive, but i'm not saying it's bad.

- The words don't flow as well with the meaning, but it can be improved.
That's all, it's overall very good.
- Purple67




Vulcanite says...


Thanks so much for the review I will keep all of this in mind. :D



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16 Reviews


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Wed Dec 02, 2020 1:43 pm
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lillianna wrote a review...



hello there Vulcanite! i’m here to leave a review, that hopefully is helpful. i’ve never reviewed lyrics before, so i hope this goes well.

i’m guessing that lines 1-7 count as the first verse. first off, the imagery is beautiful. you are doing a wonderful job of transporting your readers. i really like this line “Like I’m not even there”. it paints an image of what it feels like to fly without any burdens.

lines 8-11: i’m taking this is the chorus of sorts. i liked the key change that you added in. it sounds like you’re hitting all the notes!! the chorus is so hopeful and light, adding to the whole theme of flying in this song.

lines 12-20: i love the personification of nature in these lines. it gives depth and dimension to the story, as well as other, you might say, ‘characters’ in a sense.

lines 21-28: as the final lines of the song, i think it wraps it up nicely. it trails off so that the rest of the characters journey is up to the readers imagination. the hopeful end to this song is rhythmical and simple, but it has so much meaning!

final thoughts: overall, i liked it very much! the flow was amazing and the message and story to this was meaningful and important. besides a few grammatical errors, it was perfect! excellent job, and keep on writing!

~lulon




Vulcanite says...


Thank you so much for the review, and the like, I'm glad to no that you liked it. :D



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12 Reviews


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Reviews: 12

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Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:26 pm
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FlamingHomosexual wrote a review...



Question, where are the different parts of a song? Like, the chorus, bridge, etc... If we are getting real technical, I find this song lacking. Then again, I listen to Queen and Culture Club so my standards are kinda high.
Love your imagery and figurative speech.
Maybe this song would be easier to navigate if you broke it up into verses?
You’re definitely a great poet, but I’m not feeling this as a song. Nevertheless, keep writing!




Vulcanite says...


Thanks for the tips I will keep them in mind, just want to say though that this was a poem that I wrote awhile ago.



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53 Reviews


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Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:02 pm
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izzywidgeon wrote a review...



I have yet to listen to the recording, but I love the metaphor of being able to fly; it seems like something so freeing and exhilirating. What I really like is that you consider the fact that you would have to land eventually, and flying forever just isn't possible.
That's a really interesting anecdote that I just..adore, honestly.

Now, onto the nitpicky stuff.

"So I just might have to fly threw them."
Should be: "I just might have to fly through them."

"Wiz past my face

Should be: "Whiz past my face."

Otherwise than that, I love this piece. You're a very good songwriter, IMO.

Cheers!

MintyLeaf <3




Vulcanite says...


Thanks I'm happy you liked it, also sorry about the spelling mistakes, I do read over it before I post it but I guess I missed some of them.



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12 Reviews


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Thu Oct 08, 2020 10:28 am
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Denizen wrote a review...



I love the motif of flying. I sounds angelic. I can read a lot of meaning from this-and I quite like the message, of freedom, of longing, of having the confidence to remain strong in the face of adversity. At least, thats how I read it. Also, your singing voice is lovely!
Criticism wise, there are a few minor spelling errors, and some varied punctuation might add to the feel of the lyrics. Overall though, I love it.




Vulcanite says...


Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it, also yeah this was one of my later songs so my spelling and and punctuation is a little all over the place.
Thanks again for the review. :)



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Thu Oct 08, 2020 4:44 am
Vil wrote a review...



Hello there, @Vulcanite, it's Vilnius here with a review! <3

First off, you have an AMAZING voice, I just loved it! :)

Second off, I think that you have a neat little set of lyrics here. Because you use commas, I think that you also need to use periods for consistency, though.

One spelling mistake-- "threw" should be "through." To be honest, I keep forgetting about "threw" because I normally use "tossed" or something similar. XD

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!




Vulcanite says...


Thanks so much I'm glad that you liked it, also this was one of my later songs so its lay out and spelling is a little all over the place.
Thanks again for the review. :)




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