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E - Everyone

Who Knows

by Vivian

Who Knows

By: The Select Few

You say I’m on the path

Of struggle and misfortune

That this road I’m walking on

Will only lead to disaster

Well let me tell you something

About the future

It’s something no one knows about until the after—


So ask yourself this

Do you really no what’s best for me

Because the only road that I can see—

Is this lonely road stretching out before me

And along the way maybe I’ll find the fork

It will twist and turn and lead me to my destiny

So answer me this one question

Who knows for a fact

Who’s sure that I’ll stay on this path

Who knows who I’ll become

Because I’m the only one who thinks I don’t

Who knows what I have done

What I’ll do

That will only cause destruction

Who knows that all those wayward souls

Those misguided children

Will only fall farther into

The dark abyss this world has pushed us into

Who knows for a fact

That we’ll amount to

Nothing but hopelessness and empty words

And broken promises

Who knows who we’ll become

Who’s sure what we have done

You think you know me

But can you really see

The shining star inside of me

Who knows, who knows

Who knows what we’ll become

Who knows what we have done

Who knows who we’ll become

Who knows what we will do

Because I don’t

And you don’t

So stop expecting me to be

A failure

Who knows who we’ll become

Who knows who we will be

Who knows how we will see

This world that you have made for us

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113 Reviews

Points: 307
Reviews: 113

Sun Jun 07, 2015 10:29 pm
Sherri wrote a review...

Hey there Vivian! :)
I actually really enjoyed this! The length isn't bad at all.
You mentioned in the description it was for a comic you were working on? I'm pretty interested now xD Let me know if you ever post it anywhere; I'd be happy to read it. :)
So, on to the review...
There was a LOT of power in this piece; I absorbed myself into it pretty quickly and was able to follow along easily without many hiccups or break in 'flow'.
The meaning behind it is wonderful--I couldn't help but wonder what you comic was about while reading it, though xD --and you use some pretty good diction and rhythm to back it up.
I don't have very many nitpicks...
One of the only things that really bothered me was the 'Who knows' phrase towards the end of the song. It seemed like you didn't use it at all in the beginning, and then it sort of washed over me towards the end. I don't know; some songs build up the use of a word or phrase over time, so that could have been intentional. It's up to you. :)
Finally, I wanted to ask what sort of tune you had in mind when writing this? I kept trying to grasp what sort of genre would fit it, and I kept coming back to either pop rock, rock in general, or some sort of techno-type song... that could just be from the music I was playing while reading, though xD
A last thing I wanted to say was that when you broke 'aftermath' into two pieces and put 'math' in the next line by itself, it gave me the good sort of shivers, like when you listen to a really beautiful song. :D So that was interesting!
Anyways, you did a great job with this! I really enjoyed reading it :)
Keep writing! ~

Vivian says...

Thanks, the genre is a little bit of rock and pop.

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111 Reviews

Points: 1731
Reviews: 111

Sat Jun 06, 2015 1:15 am
TheSilentBagpipe wrote a review...

Hello there Vivian! The Silent Bagpipe here to review some of your work! First off let me just say that I am not a very good reviewer, my mind doesn't pick out to many details, and on top of that this is only my second review since my long break from reviewing. I might be a little rusty ;)

Your song was very well written, first off I would just like to mention. You have great talent, and I am sure with a bit of help you will be great! Your work personally touched my heart and mind. I know exactly of the struggle of people thinking you are never going to make it, it is something I fight with often. The trick is never to give up, don't give into them because as the old country saying goes - "The people who say you can't and you won't are the ones who are afraid you WILL"
Your song was very inspiring to me, and I truly hope someday that I will hear it over the radio. It would be a lot better than the cr@p you hear on the radio today.

A suggestion I have for you - #1 In some places your work was a bit off and didn't flow as well. I suggest you read through it, out loud, and find those places and see if you can substitute some of the words in for more colorful words.

Over all this song was really great and I enjoyed it immensely, it spoke in volumes and had a very strong spirit...something I love seeing in work. I related to it easily, which makes it all the better. It is said that most people listen to songs with lyrics they can relate to =)

Thank you for sharing your work! All the best, mo chara!


P.S. "Mo chara" means "my friend" in the Gaelic language <3

Vivian says...

Thanks, I will. Learn something new every day.

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14 Reviews

Points: 398
Reviews: 14

Fri Jun 05, 2015 10:00 pm
raevynstar says...

I really like this! The writing style seemed a little 'off' in parts, but then I forgot about that because it's mostly great.
I think this could come right before the actual story in a novel--you know, like an epigraph? (I think that's what it's called...sorry if it's not).
To reply to your reply, if that makes sense: I don't know how it seemed off, but it wasn't that bad, in any case. I'm not thinking of pro-or epilogues. I'm talking about the thing that comes near the title page and is usually in italics? I'm not even sure now. :)

Vivian says...

Cool, thanks for reading. I think it's called a prologue. Unless you're thinking of an epilogue. Exactly how did the writing style seem off?

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