Published January 21, 2011
When i was in grade 6, i make poems during class hours because sometimes it's so boring to listen to the discussions of my teacher. i found one of my poems while cleaning my closet, enjoy, it's not that perfect 
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141,440 Literary Works • 674,432 Reviews
ps. have edited some mistakes XD
thank you all guys!!! i'll edit some of my typos and errors,
Hey, the first thing I noticed about this was the awesome flow. Well done with that!!!!
I also think the vocabulary is good. Because the others did a nice job reviewing, there's not much for me to say.
I truly enjoyed this, but it could use a little work, punctuation and all ... But again, I really love the flow. Keep writing!!
I enjoyed reading this immensly
Xx
Good collection of imagery.
And I mean, really good
I found it hard to grasp the meaning of this poem, but with me, that same thing happens as with all good poems.
The important thing is that I enjoyed reading this. It flows good real' good too
Yay!
Hey, Pervy here. Wonderful work, that's it =). Sorry, but I can't complain about it at all, except for a few nitpicks I spotted (I have the eyes of a hawk, you see
).
"Images ripples, full of lies" <---Images ripple*
"In t he end, we will experience a happy finish" <-- In THE end
That's all ^^
Great poem, I'd love to read more.
Sincerely,
The perverted Iguana~
This is a good poem! You have a wide vocabulary and have the ability to use many poetic techniques that enhance your writing - alliteration, sibilance, rhyming etc.
(1) To separate different lines clearly, with punctuation marks like commas or periods; and
(2) Make sure that you don't redeem the quality of your writing just for the sake of making it rhyme. Sometimes your expression seems awkward and forced.
All in all, a great piece! Keep on writing.