A Solstice Crown

Even though my life was crumbling around me, for whatever reason all I could think about was my Gran and her stories. She always had a way with words, knowing precisely what to say to get a child’s imagination turning. She had often told me the story of how she and my grandfather met. It was during the Saint Jonas’s festival, a tradition on the summer solstice in which the young women would sing songs and dance, with the end of the festival being marked by putting their handmade, flower crowns into the river. Your crown floated down the river, and the young man that caught it was supposed to be your true love. Gran had difficulties getting hers to cooperate, though. Every time she placed it, it would only float a few meters. That was until it came to my grandfather’s feet. He helped her by throwing it into the middle of the river. But the crown had already found its mark, and true love bloomed between the two.

True love, that seemed like a joke to me, after learning that my “true love” had a wife and kids. I was disgusted by it- the fact that I was in a consensual relationship, but so unconsensually used. My ignorance didn’t absolve me of the guilt. In fact, it seemed worse, even more evil somehow. There were obvious signs looking back on it. Him constantly playing with his ring finger as though checking for something. All the excuses why he couldn’t come see me during the day. Lies. The thought of them made me hurt, made me tired. That’s why I decided to come to the river my family used to kayak down. To somehow connect to the innocence of my Gran’s stories. I would let the summer solstice ritual cleanse me of my remaining feelings for that bastard, and let the universe decide what was next for me.

Once I reached the bank, I started collecting wildflowers for my crown, drawn to the small white blossoms peeking out of the tall grass. I wove them carefully, clumsily, but still somehow with a sweetness that I found tranquil. I was surprised by its beauty, its purity, even though made by hands so stained with guilt and shame. I began to sing some of the old songs my Gran used to sing to me, “Čiūčia liūlia dukrytėla, Mano mylimoji.” My foot began to tap, unconsciously. Eventually, I couldn’t stop myself from dancing. It began with a tap, then escalated to swaying my summer dress. Then my inhibitions fell away, and I found myself swaying, flowing with the words “Auk didutė būk greitutė, Mano dukrytėla.”

Beads of sweat came pouring down my face as I danced. I could feel the sorrows being purged, with every step I felt lighter, every note sung was another weight off my chest. The rattling in my bones, his promises of love that had shackled me. I started to spin, and spin and spin and spin. I could feel as if the brittle chains begin to lift as they swung around me. Finally, I stopped, and the weight melted away. I took a deep breath in and rebalanced myself.

“I am finally free.”

I let myself take in the beauty of the surrounding nature. The birds singing, the sun shining, the breeze flowing along the tall grass as it brushed my leg. I felt one with nature, like when I was a kid, listening to Gran’s stories. Now all there was left to do is to let go of control and let the universe do its work. I bent down next to the bank and released my flower crown. I watched it float down the river for a bit and laid on the bank. I closed my eyes, able to feel peace for the first time in what felt like forever.

I was awakened by a snap of a branch. I slowly opened my eyes and sat up, and my heart caught in my chest-there I saw it, a tall, lanky creature with disproportionately long arms and two crimson eyes staring right at me. I froze, as the creature slowly made its way towards me. At that moment, I remembered one of the stories Gran used to tell of the Baubas, the boogeyman. That’s when I noticed the flower crown in its hand.

“Ahh, I see, the only one that could be a match for you would have to be someone as wicked as me.” I put my head in my hands and resigned myself to my fate. The Boogeyman’s bride. This is what I deserve. I turned to the water and just sat there. Eventually the footsteps were right behind me. I let out a deep sigh and continued, “Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to join me?”

I heard the creaking of its bones as it slowly moved to my side and sat. Its skin, pale like a full moon, seemed to crack as though it hadn’t been touched by water in hundreds of years. I leaned towards the river with my handkerchief in hand and dipped it into the cool water. I then turned to the creature sitting next to me, and gently tapped its skin. The moisture took, it seemed to heal the Baubas. Though, it paid me no mind. It just sat there looking out upon the river. I continued to pat it down until its skin no longer looked as though it was plastered onto its bones, while it just continued to sit there.

Now that the Baubas was healthier looking, it lost the eldritch quality that had exuded from it. It still didn’t have a mouth or nose, only the features of a disproportionate mannequin. I gently pulled the crown out of its hand and slowly placed the flowers on its head. It bowed as I got closer, then raised its eyes to meet mine.

“There, now you look positively dashing,” I said as I clasped my hands together with a reassuring smile on my face. The Baubas stared at me, then back to the river. A small tear formed a mouth from the mass of flesh under its eyes.

“Thank you, you are a gentle soul,” the Baubas stated in a low bass. I was startled to hear it speak, but I let the words do their work. After a few moments of silent relief, I cried.