z

Young Writers Society


12+

Sole

by Via


44 miles.

You can leave it.
You can run.
You don't have to go far.
Just not here is far enough.
Somewhere you can be anyone you want.
No one knows you.

But that's pretty much the same
as how things are now.
Do you want to be known?
Or do you want to be invisible?

It doesn't matter.
Turns out people here know you anyway.
It's not far enough.

4000 miles.

There's clearly no in between.
Run.
Far.
Now.
So far there's no chance of being caught.

By others.

Turn out you're still there, though.
Visibly invisible
on streets older than your entire country.
The buildings are toppling in,
slowly closing in above you--
threatening to swallow you whole
as you crumble.

Not fast enough.
Not far enough.

8000 miles.

This is it.
There is no farther to go.
Sink or swim--
just don't stop moving.

Build the foundation.
Mix the cement.
Climb the palm tree.
Strap the baby on your back.
Ride the camel.
Buy your fabric at the market
and take it to the dirt floor tailor--
she will make your clothes,
your bags, your everything.
Just run, it's right up the road.

But take a friend,
there's a war going on.
A real one--outside of you.
Is that distracting enough?
Do you feel alive enough?

This was a choice.

There are so many stars.
You've never seen nights like this.
Everything at peace in this exact moment
in this exact spot.
Except the monkeys--
thumps on the thatched rood,
a reminder the world goes on.

A call.

0 miles.

But you're still running--
just in place.
It's the thing you want most
to run away from.
Yet, you cannot.

You're stuck on the treadmill.
If you stop, you die.
If you don't stop, you might still die.
There is no choice.

Aren't your soles tired?

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667 Reviews

Points: 11727
Reviews: 667

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Sat Oct 28, 2023 3:01 pm
Messenger wrote a review...



Hey there and Happy Review Day!

There's a lot going on I'm this poem, and some interesting themes that are at war with each other. I like the progression from beginning to end. Much like the MC, we never stopped moving in this piece. This feels like thw progression of anybody stuck in a bad situation who gets out but doesn't deal with what they went through.
It's interesting, because I've found that in some cases, distance IS all that's needed to make a situation much, much better. However, even when distanced from the situation, I had to do a lot of work on a personal level to heal and fix myself, and that is never achieved by simply avoiding what once was.
You can see some of that in the end of this poem with the monkey banging on the roof. You cannot run away from problems, only run at them.
The ending is a bit dour for me. Not that it isn't how some people feel, but it certainly dampens the tone and leaves us on a bit of a despaired feeling. Still, I think it hits on a lot of things at once thatost people can relate to: distracting yourself, running away, slipping into a secluded peace and then being dragged out etc. In a lot of ways this reminds me of Frodo's speech to Sam just before they enter Mount Doom, which is definitely one of my favorite scenes of all time! All in all this made me think, and more importantly feel a lot of emotions and contemplate my own history, and I think that's at the heart of what poetry should be! Hope this helps!

~ Messy




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81 Reviews

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Reviews: 81

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Sat Oct 28, 2023 2:04 pm
ariah347 wrote a review...



Hey there, Via! Happy review day! First off, it's nice to see someone on YSW who's also in their 30s - that is, if your age on your profile is accurate. I often look at profile's ages, seeing teenagers, and feel a bit out of place at times! Let's get into the review.

I have questions, and I think when works leave readers longing for more, they are unforgettable. Why am I running? What am I running from? Is it something within my internal self that I'm trying to escape? Is it the memory of an event that haunts me? Is it because of the war? Have I done something that I wish people forget or maybe illegal, and I fear being captured? You have painted this running well. We grow in distance and urgency as you continue to build.

You're stuck on the treadmill.
If you stop, you die.
If you don't stop, you might still die.
There is no choice.

Aren't your soles tired?


This ending is haunting. This piece has me thinking of the many wars and devastation that happen throughout our planet daily. It made me feel an urgency to get out, go, and never stop. The tone is well-established. I love the formatting of mileage increasing. You establish the need to keep going no matter what it takes with your descriptions. I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you well wherever you are in the world. With love, ʚ♡ɞ a





“Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents!”
— Little Women