Guard Dog

Hey Venmaria! Today, I am reviewing your beautiful poem!!

First of all, I think it is worth mentioning that you managed to personify the guard dog beautifully. I was not expecting an allegory about controlling a dog that has a bad character on the inside, but the last parts changed my perspective dramatically.

I was ashamed-
you were badly raised
so loud and aggressive
didn't know personal space

The way you described the “dog” at the beginning caught my special attention because it seemed as if the “dog” was a part of the speaker’s personality. Hence, the whole allegory might have multiple meanings depending on the individual’s perspective.

The transition from concealing the “dog,” and putting it in the cage and the grave was also skillfully made. Each following stage demonstrated that the efforts to hide the “dog” were not enough and, eventually, the “dog” became a part of the speaker’s identity.

“Eventually you learned,
how to pick the lock”

Therefore, I personally liked the verse where you mentioned that the “dog” had managed to get out of the grave on its own because it demonstrates that no matter how much one tries to deny their dark side, it will always be with them. Then, the last verse changed the whole perception of the poem once again

“just a vivid memory
Born from my pain”

I thought the dark side of the personality is always with a person, but the allegory suggests that, eventually, it transforms into a painful memory. Hence, the name of the poem refers to the guarding of painful memories by a person.

In my opinion, you should take care of the punctuation and capitalization of the words. Otherwise, I liked the flow of the poem and the transformation of the allegory’s direction.

Lovely work!<3
~hira♡

Hello!

Ooooooh I find this poem great! I find it very well written and with an interesting and well-thought-of theme. Great job!

I tried to keep you hidden
I was ashamed-
you were badly raised
so loud and aggressive
didn't know personal space

"I tried to keep you hidden" is a very good hook for the start of this poem. It makes the reader wonder "who? What?" And already gives the vibe of the rest of the poem. "You were badly raised" refers to this 'memory' as a kind of person, so good use of personalisation! Also a thing I liked about the rest of the poem: you write as if this something inside you were someone with a body and a mind of its own. This makes the end, where you say that the thing has no heart, no blood, is just a memory from your pain, even better and such a good idea!! I think that that might be my favorite part in this poem.
"didn't know personal space" is ironic kind of, since the something isn't physical and also technically is your personal space.

You would growl at everyone
allowed no one in;
made them turn around.

This part is good too, however the part about allowing no one in is slightly confusing. Do you mean, no one in your heart or something? It seems a little strange when you read it at first, but when you think about it it can make sense.

I tried locking you into a cage
it was not enough
Eventually you learned,
how to pick the lock

I love the cage metaphor here, and how the something learns to pick the lock of that cage!
I do also like how the reader doesn't really know the name of that 'something', what it really is, until the end when you say it is a memory. I'd thought of it as a sort of 'dark side' of the narrator/you maybe, but the memory idea/I don't know if this is a real experience is even better for your poem I believe.

So I buried you alive
yet even through the grave
I hear your muffled barks.
for you have no heart,
no blood flowing through your veins.
just a vivid memory
Born from my pain

Yaaaay my favorite part! I've already said most of the things I wanted to say about this part (oops) but I can also add that I think the 'barking' part is good because it is the only connecting part to your title, Guard Dog. The title does fit, though I think it could maybe fit a little better. The overall poem doesn't contradict that statement, however the only true connection is in that last part, which doesn't have to be a problem - but I do not really understand why you would say 'guard'; isn't it a sort of savage, out-of-control, free dog?
Anyways, I really liked this poem all in all! I hope to be reading more from you soon =)
Thank you for sharing this and please keep writing!!!
Have a wonderful day

- HMMHhehe the potato