Love is the spring that never runs dry,
Even when it's burning.
Love is the only truthful lie:
The one secret worth learning.
Love is a phoenix reborn from its ashes,
A singing nightingale batting its lashes.
Love is the tender war that leaves a blissful mess;
The more you give away the more you possess...
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Oh my. I thought this poem was very beautiful. I loved your choice of words, the imagery and I liked the fact that it was short. It's one really cute poem that really points out the meaning of love.
I'm looking forward to more of your work. ^^ Great job, keep it up!
*clicks gold star*
Thank you very much!!!
Again, I'm still suprised that this has gotten such a welcome!
xx
I must admit that this is a beautiful piece of work. Short but worth a read. the punctuation is quite good and they give your poem good flow.
I love the powerful beggining and in its own nice way it leaves a lot to be desired. the description and comparisons are also amazing. Congratulations.
Hey
That was beautiful!
I ecspecially like the lines
Those lines really seems to make me think. Well done!
I like it becuase it's short and sweet and it doesn't drag on for ages and get boring.
It's so natural as well which shows that you have a talent for this and it's ten times better natural than it is if it was forced.
The rhyming is excellent and so is your writing style!
I love it!
Keep writing
Meg x-x
Hah, thanks tab13, but tell me what's the point of requoting the whole poem? I already know what I wrote!
i absolutely loved it...nice way to explain what love it
Gee thanks WhiteTiger93
Incredible. From the moment I started this that was all I could think. It's beautiful and truthful. Once more I repeat, incredible.
hey there...
your poem looks good. it's just that when i read it, the puntuation marks, the commas, the semicolon seems to disturb the flow of reading it. you intended for it to be like an endless cycle right? (i think i read that somewhere here). perhaps you could minimize that kind of stuff.
some people commented that last line where you end with "......" that seems okay if that's the kind of intention you would want to put/convey in your poem
Thanks to all for the reviews and gold stars!!
I have to say I'm rather surprised that this seems to be what has been most appreciated among everything that I've posted, because it really is one of my less original works.
As for little_miss_obsessed, i really couldn't homogenise the rhyming scheme, or this would really become much too traditional for me to claim it's authorship!
Could you possibly find anything to say that's any more condescending?!
Love,
Velvet
this is adorable.
only problem i have is that it confuses me when someone doesnt use the same constant rhyme scheme throughout a poem (with the exception of free verse, which your poem here is not.) e.g. how you went ABABCCDD. try moving some lines around and rewording a few things so that the rhyme scheme is all clean and neat and the same.
I loved this! There was great imagery. I could see it all. You had a great use of metaphors and similes. It was very true to who love is at times. Great Job. This has potential. In my opinion you could even make this a little longer. Again, it was great. I did not see to many mistakes. It deserves a gold star. (clicks gold star)
I thought this poem really does tell what love really is like.
*same here*
*also clicks star*
*clicks star*
To Pgsgirl7 and iCarlyfan, read Keats and you'll understand that anglophone poetry is not about reality or what "makes sense", but about what manages to create a mental image, an evocation, a sudden understanding, precisely through the association of words that don't make sense!!!
I think it is very well written, the rhyming is excellent, but there are some things you need to work on. This is just my opinion.
OK....
This kinda doesn't make sense, as "spring" usually means a stream of water, and water doesn't burn!!!
Other than that, it's really good-liking the antonyms.
Hi, Whispers! Music here.
You, my darling, have talent! An excellent poet, I must say. I loved every line of this.
Your use of descriptive language really drew the reader in. Nice use of metaphors!
As it's been mentioned, the ending would be more absolute and solid if you replaced the "..." with a period. It would end the poem simply yet effectively.
Also, as Evi noted, I'm a sucker for short poems. They're small, quick, and to the point. Very decisive. This poem was a great example of a good short poem.
Your use of words was nice; they weren't too complicated, but they weren't simple. This is important when appealing to readers of your works.
I'm keeping an eye on you, my dear. You have potential to be great. Greater, I should say.
Love,
Music.
Hey there! First off, welcome to YWS. Comments are in bold, 'kay?
Wow! You are a wonderful writer. I absolutely love when people can say a lot in a small amount of words. You capture the true essence of what love is. This really spoke to me in a way that's beyond words. It touched my heart. It brought tears to my eyes. Gold star for you.
Wow, those spelling mistakes are absolutely shameful, i think that's my cue to go to bed!! I'm glad you enjoyed this, the punctuation of the last verse is a choice both for the comma and the suspension dots (that is I believe the official grammatical terminology!): I wanted the shape of the poem to reflect this never-ending cycle of boundless love: there is no finality to love, so none to the poem!
I very much like your interpretation of the first couple of verses, I hadn't quite considered it that way!
xx
Hey Whispers! Love the username, by the way. And welcome to YWS! *throws confetti*
It means I can delve straight into them and decipher every line. My first suggestion, however, is to un-capitalize your title. It's rather distracting, and surely unnecessary. You want your poem's amazingness to speak for itself, without our eyes being drawn to it because you put the title in Caps. 
You have no idea how much I love short poems, dear.
I love this first sentence. When I read the burning part, I had to scratch my head a bit, but it's a proper metaphor once you understand it. Love doesn't end just because it hurts.
Here, my only issue is your repetition of the word 'only' in both lines. Out of the whole English language, surely there's another word out there you could substitute for one of these? For the second line, you could rephrase it as:
The one secret that is worth learning
This works because of your loose rhythmic scheme. Even though you have such a nice, concrete rhyme going, you have managed not to back yourself in a corner by establishing un unavoidable rhythm. See what I mean? You can tweak the syllables, and still have the poem's flow work perfectly.
It's = It is. You want the possesive form, which would be 'its'.
I suggest just ending the poem in a full stop. While the ellipses (the ...) can add dramatic effect or whatnot, you give your poem a sense of finality by putting a period at the end. Okay?
Now, you did have a punctuation issue in line number 5. That semi-colon at the end should just be a regular old comma, methinks. For a semi-colon, you have to have two complete thoughts on both sides, but line 6 doesn't have a verb. However! That's easy to fix.
Good luck with your writing, dear, and I hope to see you around, posting!
~Evi