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Young Writers Society



The Kingdom of Loathing

by Vampirewolf3


A long time ago, in a kingdom by the sea,

lived the Naughty Sorceress* and me

with nothing in my mind lest to defeat her,

and for her, to defeat and destroy me

our contempt for each other was so great,

that the devils in hell could not bear our hate,

and that is why, on that fateful day,

porktober* 8th was the date

in which our fate was revealed

the clash of sword and shield

until one was left standing,

in the lonely battle field

I did a horrible job of imitating annabel Lee, eh?

*=references to The Kingdom of Loahting

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82 Reviews

Points: 4449
Reviews: 82

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Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:44 pm
Celticmusicgirl wrote a review...



ok this was great I have to admit. You are very clever and creative with this. I like that in a person epsecially one who writes. As far as errors maybe you could split some of the phrases into sentences just to make it easier to read. Really there were no errors here at all that I could catch. Overall Excellent Job! I really like this. I really can't say anymore than that. You may PM me if you have any questions or comments or if you just want to talk. I'm open for anything.
Maith adh,
Celticmusicgirl




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5 Reviews

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Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:42 am
OphelieLiv wrote a review...



Haha I thoroughly enjoyed that as a Kingdom of Loathing player. It had a sense of iambic pentameter, which I'm not sure whether I'm imagining. But either way, I really loved your take of the Lee "classic" (if you will) and you must keep writing!

...Porktober.. -giggles-




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Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:03 pm
greenwitch94 says...



oh bravo, bravo!!1
it was very, very good!!!! :)




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57 Reviews

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Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:33 am
Goldenheart wrote a review...



Wow!

I've never heard Annabel Lee imitated in such a way. I recognised it right off. Very creative! I enjoyed the rhythm especially, the way the lines rhymed, etc. I loved the title you gave her, 'The naughty sorceress.' The complete reversal of the ideas from the old poetry to the new made me laugh.

Bravo! Well done!





Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.
— Louis L'Amour