don't let the sky go dark on me.

I liked how soft and reminiscent this felt. But the ending seemed kind of cut off. The poem had a pattern of what happened and then how that affected the relationship. But the end was a question that left off unresolved and I didn't care for that too much. Looking at others reviews I do agree that this reminded me of Gatsby and I didn't really care for that book so maybe that's why I feel similar about the ending of this poem. Overall, this was good but not my cup of tea. Keep writing though, as it's obvious other people like this. As long as you like what you are writing and you know you are getting better that's what matters.

"don't let the sky go dark on me..."

I really like this opening. It is intriguing and it draws me in.

"remember how I showed you colors,"

This makes me think and question what you are taking about, and it makes me what to know more. Showing someone colors seems so gentle and such a beautiful thing.

"and the beauty of a crowded street."

And I loved this line. Most people don't like crowded streets and hate when sidewalks are full of people, but obviously someone can find something beautiful in the mundane and ordinary. I loved this.

"if you cannot do that for what we've been,"

I wasn't sure that I understood this line, as the flow seems to be off.

"if it turns that the sky won't listen-"

Do you mean "if it turns out"?

"to you or me, or anybody's pleas."

"don't let my lamp die within a breeze."

Within a breeze? Hm. Interesting choice of words.

"remember how I shooed away your shadows..."

This was interesting.

"how I carried you when you felt weak."

Such a gentle ending. Beautiful.

This poem shows tragedy with a hint of Logos. It has a bit of an alluring effect on me. It somehow reminds me of the story of the Great Gatsby, assuming that is where you got your inspiration from.

Hi!
This is a really cute poem. For some reason this had a Great Gatsby feel to me. Longing for someone even and wanting them. (Like how Gatsby still wanted Daisy to believe in their love and to not let his lamp go out.)
This has great imagery for such short lines. Amazing work!