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Never Ending

by Urba

I don't know why I made up my mind for writing this...I seriously don't know!! But sometimes I really feel like someone has thrown me into a dark cave and there is nothing but isolation.

I crumble for just a little gold light but up from the hole only the light comes what makes the darkness more clear to see. My head swirls...veins tighten...I scream out loud.No one hears me...the frowsy wind whispers, you're wrong you're wrong again, you failed once again...then...what to do? asks...I wish I could answer the question.Day by day I figure out, I can't agree with the world.

Who says life is short? Isn't it never ending?

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Points: 300
Reviews: 0

Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:07 pm
thabiso says...

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284 Reviews

Points: 4250
Reviews: 284

Tue Jun 02, 2015 11:32 pm
RubyRed wrote a review...

Hello Urba. Wonderwoman here. I thought this was a very cool description and I loved the question you asked at the end. And there is nothing for me to correct just one question though; Can you make it longer please? I know you put it in the short story category but it's just too short add a story to it. Maybe some people and then tell where they are and what's happening then I think this could be very cool! Anyway keep writing and NEVER get discouraged!

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
-Thomas Edison


Urba says...

thank you but about adding some people...I'd rather say that it's the description of my mind of when I wrote it...and of course I myself was thinking of making this a little much longer...thunx again...

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Points: 828
Reviews: 3

Tue Jun 02, 2015 1:26 pm
Cataclysm wrote a review...

I am confused.

Your last statement, which seems to be the focal point of your work, does not connect to anything else in the work. Please try to connect it.

You use a lot of unneeded punctuation in the second paragraph. You could use periods instead of ellipses and it would work just fine. Also, that question mark after "whispers" doesn't belong there because you're not asking a question.

You mean "gold light" instead of "gold of light"

frowsy should be frosty

Take out the first paragraph except for the cave part. Readers don't care why you're writing a piece.

yellow says...

Really, many people would like to know why the author is writing their literary work. There can be a deep meaning behind the story that connects with something that's important to the author.

Nothing is impossible, for the word itself says, 'I'm possible!'
— Audrey Hepburn