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I don't know why I made up my mind for writing this...I seriously don't know!! But sometimes I really feel like someone has thrown me into a dark cave and there is nothing but isolation.
I crumble for just a little gold light but up from the hole only the light comes what makes the darkness more clear to see. My head swirls...veins tighten...I scream out loud.No one hears me...the frowsy wind whispers, you're wrong you're wrong again, you failed once again...then...what to do?...it asks...I wish I could answer the question.Day by day I figure out, I can't agree with the world.
Who says life is short? Isn't it never ending?
Hello Urba. Wonderwoman here. I thought this was a very cool description and I loved the question you asked at the end. And there is nothing for me to correct just one question though; Can you make it longer please? I know you put it in the short story category but it's just too short add a story to it. Maybe some people and then tell where they are and what's happening then I think this could be very cool! Anyway keep writing and NEVER get discouraged!
If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
-Thomas Edison
~\/\/onder
I am confused.
Your last statement, which seems to be the focal point of your work, does not connect to anything else in the work. Please try to connect it.
You use a lot of unneeded punctuation in the second paragraph. You could use periods instead of ellipses and it would work just fine. Also, that question mark after "whispers" doesn't belong there because you're not asking a question.
You mean "gold light" instead of "gold of light"
frowsy should be frosty
Take out the first paragraph except for the cave part. Readers don't care why you're writing a piece.
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
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