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?Angel? Two separate poems that go together i want advice on. are they any good?

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I've always wanted to touch the clouds. 

On car rides I'd watch the constant cloudy skies. 

I wonder, Was that Heaven? 

Was there a palace up there hidden in plain sight? 

Is that where gods watch us, judging us - our humanity?

Could I one day, touch the soft, beautiful things that hover ahead. 

Yes. Yes, I could.

~~~~~~

Release shall be the freedom I've never breathed. The grasp of what if now, not always wondering what I could be but what am I.

Angel wings but I can't fly. 

The voice of an angel but yet it still cracks. 

Crack. Crack. Crack.         An egg opening not to cook it but to slowly sip and wonder how many till I'm enough. I want to be free. Flying in the clouds in the palace of gods.

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MrytleJinn Review

I love these.
I really relate and I love the imagery it creates. Cracking eggs, broken wings, cloudy skies, and a beauty we can't quite see.
I love how it slowly became personal and those unanswered questions we are burning to know.
These poems are really good and I really relate.
Great work!

There’s a really strong sense of looking upward and wanting something better here—like clouds aren’t just clouds, they’re freedom or peace or even heaven itself. The beginning feels almost childlike in a good way, like someone genuinely wondering what’s above everything and whether it’s safe or kind up there.

Then it slowly turns more personal. It stops being just about the sky and starts feeling like it’s about self-worth and that pressure of “am I enough?” That shift hits harder because it’s subtle—you don’t announce it, you just slide into it. The “crack” repetition and the egg image stand out a lot. It breaks the softness of the earlier cloud imagery and brings everything back down to something more fragile and physical, like hope snapping for a second before continuing.

Overall it feels thoughtful and emotional, like someone trying to turn big questions about life and identity into something they can actually hold

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the atrocious S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - These poems have to do with angels and trying to transcend boundaries in Earth, trying to find solace.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think you meant to write a question for the line asking if you’ll be able to touch the clouds, but if not, then you may ignore this.

Chocolate Bar - I love that in both these separate poems, there is this theme of trying to find freedom and sense in this world. I like the line about having angel wings but not being able to fly. I take that as someone who feels that they can go out and yet also feel trapped, that they cannot fully be free. There’s something more in the clouds, but can it ever be discovered?

Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, two very beautiful poems about angels and the act of trying to find truth and magic. I enjoyed reading these poems and if you want to make more, then I will be sure to read it. Now…

I wish you a fabulous day/night! ^v^

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LayLay2013
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there great



Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.
— Bishop Desmond Tutu