Young Writers Society

So this my first post... pretty excited about it... just critique and hope you like it

The first paragrapg not indented is just my style, by the by.

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My quiver and bow looked awkward over my blue jacket and grey t shirt, but it really didn’t matter. I was running so fast that I was a blur, noticeable for only a second before dashing out of sight. I went even faster as the rain from the swollen grey thunderheads poured down and damped everything underneath them. Unfortunately, since everything became slippery and slick, my path was treacherous as I jumped over logs and shrubbery. My jeans were soon covered in mud from my many trips and falls.

Out of nowhere, I fumbled forward and face planted into a puddle of liquid dirt. Instincts made my body jump back up and wipe the mud from my startling blue eyes. “Perfect, just what I needed,” I grumbled to the air as I turned around to see what I tripped over. I shocked myself when I took a sharp intake of the chill wind.

A girl, dark blonde hair spilling out around her in dreadlocked strands, was curled up in a ball and shaking violently. “Shit!” I cursed, scrambling over to her. I tried to sit her up, but when I did, she kept rocking back and forth, ending up on her back. Brushing clumps of her hair from her face, I could hear what she was groaning over and over again. “You want water?” I sputtered. I reached for my quiver and pulled out a small flask. I had full cup of water left, and yet she drank nearly all of it in a few gulps. “Whoa, whoa there,” I whispered.

The girl, larger than I, was still unstable. I pulled her underneath a tree, in a dryer area, and wrapped my jacket around her. She recoiled into its warmth. “Okay, okay,” I said to myself as I tried to build a fire. After hitting a flint, I blew and stoked an ember into a roaring bonfire. I pushed the fire close to the stranger before returning to her side. She seemed to be relaxing just a bit. “Can I get a name out of you, please?” I coaxed, dabbing her forehead with a shred of cloth from my shirt soaking in rainwater. She didn’t respond, but if I hadn’t been looking at her eyes, I never would have noticed the slight flicker of their lids. “Can you do that again? Please, I’m not going to harm you, I promise.” I tucked my bright neon orange and yellow hat over my pointed ears. This girl was entirely human, and she mustn’t know of my specie’s presence. The humans had ravaged my people for centuries, all from a war that sparked conflict between the two races. The funny thing to me was, though, no one could remember why we were feuding. The leaders were just too stubborn to withdraw from the fight.

In the Elf society, I was one of the commoners. I was forced to praise the snobby king, break my back while tending to the fields or hunting, and all so he could stuff his greedily little face. I often went hungry, and my small, fragile body was threatening to eat itself, I swear.

“…A-Angel…” the girl moaned. I scurried to her side.

“Angel? Is that your name? Angel… Angel, can you open your eyes for me? Come on Angel, you look strong; I know you can do it!” I encouraged. The skin around her eyes was stretching, trying to allow her to open her eyes. With a gentle touch, I raised the skin above her eyes and helped her open them.

They burned orange, so orange I thought they were on fire. “You have pretty eyes,” she told me. I could feel my pale cheeks flush with bright red blood. My words caught in my throat.

“A-are you alright?” I stammered. I tightened the jacket around her, catching sight of a huge rip in the back of her clothing. A bruise was forming, and a long, neat cut had dried blood crackling around it. “Did I do that? I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean to hurt you! You want me to take a look at it?” She nodded hesitantly. “I won’t hurt you, promise.” She nodded silently as I laid the coat next to the fire and tore a strip of my shirt off. I pulled a few wet dock leaves that had stuck to my quiver and crunched them up. Their healing juice slipped out between the cracks.

Carefully I plastered them onto her cut. “This might sting just a little, but it’ll be worth it,” I informed Angel. She put her fist in her mouth nervously. I brought the strip from in front of her towards the back. I looped one end around the other then pulled really tight. I heard a soft wince pierce the air, which allowed me to quickly secure the knot. “There… all done. You should take it easy though. Listen, I’m seriously sorry about hitting you Angel. I hope you-.”

“Apology accepted,” she squeaked. I smiled.

“Where do you come from? Maybe I could help you get there? I have a little money. It’s the least I can-.”

“Angel!” a voiced cut me off. I turned around to survey the landscape. I didn’t see anything… “Angel! Where are you?”

“I’m over here!” she yelled. Twigs snapped and leaves crunched after a pair of feet. Wait… it sounded like way more than a single pair. I notched an arrow into my bow just as four teens my age, one girl and three guys, burst into my small clearing. They had an array of weaponry drawn, and I kept my arrow aimed at the closet guy. They all looked on shock at me, except for one teen, who immediately noticed the bandage around Angel’s torso. He shouted and charged me. I gave a yelp as I dashed for the woods.

They won’t be able to catch me now, I thought as I crashed through a thicket of fern, I just need to get a few miles apart and they’ll leave me alone!

I couldn’t be more wrong.

From behind something buried itself deep into my shoulder. I stifled a shout as I continued to run. I looked behind me and fired off my arrow and the teen yelped as it imbedded itself into his shoulder. I smirked in small victory as I continued to sprint, weaving through tree trunks and jumping over small puddles. Out of nowhere, an arm was out in front of me. I slammed right into it and fell backwards. My body sank into the deep mud that was piling up. It oozed around me, soaking into my clothing and onto my bare skin. I sprung up again but they were upon me. I punched one in the face, kneed another between the legs, but to no avail. My hands were pinned and they pushed my head under the surface of the dirt. I thrashed around, and only stopped when the familiar chill of a blade kissed my throat. When I surfaced, I saw Angel and the other girl rushing over to me.

“Stop, stop!” Angel was saying loudly, but it was too late. Darkness had clouded my sight until my mind spiraled away from me.

When I awoke, my hands ached from the chains that bound them to the big tree I was previously residing. The rain wiped streaks of mud from my face and clothing, and I immediately noticed I was freezing. Goosebumps rose onto my fair skin, and my bleach blonde hair was sticking to my faced in matted clumps.

“Yo Jake, she’s waking up,” someone announced. When I opened my eyes, a teen with the same shade of blue eyes and blonde hair as I, was staring at me. He sharply raised my chin with his hand so we locked gazes. He immediately released when I began to cough out the sludge I inhaled during our skirmish.

I looked around at the humans nervously and warily. Damn it, I was so screwed!

“It’s alright,” Jake said to me. He brushed a golden lock behind his ear, and to my relief, I saw it was pointed. I exhaled a deep sigh, but I still didn’t trust any of these people. “You’ll be fine; I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.”

“That’s exactly what that thing said after she nearly killed Angel!” shouted the teen who first spoke.

“I tripped over her! It wasn’t my fault she was just convulsing on the ground in the middle of the path! You’re lucky I got to her before anything else did!” I objected. The male charged me and punched me across the face and kicked me in the stomach before Jake wrestled him back.

“What the hell are you doing?!” he demanded. “We will not harm her under any circumstances!”

“But--!”

“Shut up Seth! If you don’t like my orders, you can just get on out of here right now!” Seth backed down but sat protectively next to Angel. He put her sleeping form into his arms and glared at me. Jake hurried over to me, folded over and shaking. I nearly jumped out of my wet, muddy skin when he put a hand to my side. “Calm down!” I still stayed tight in my small ball, letting my body soak in the rain. “Hey, hey… listen to me!” I didn’t respond. The cold had trapped my mind, and I was drifting into shadows. He groaned and went to go and sit by the fire.

How I longed for that fire! I wanted the rush of warmth to overcome my body, to rush through me like a thousand horses filled with hot magma. But nay; I received the cold that gripped me like death, like the mud that sloshed around me earlier this day. It was a small price to pay, though, for the freedom I would soon find.