Published February 4, 2007
Down the
--River flows
---the boat of man
----through rough
-----rigid rocks.
--trying to mak
-e his way to the
--ocean deep and b
---lue. chugging slowly
--does points creep at
-times Worry must he
------though
-----to be sure
-----to have ch
------osen corre
-----ctly to av
------oid hurtli
-----ng waterfa
-------ll down.
----Abrublty ending
-Long journey to freedom
that men crave for much so.
To feel the salt water bree
-ze and know the meaningof
--being alone truely.
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140,573 Literary Works • 673,519 Reviews
I never much like E.E. Cummings or his style, as I found it hard to read, annoying and distracting. Therefore, those who attempt to copy said style are I also feel the same way about. I'm sorry but I have nothing else ot say about htis but I don't like it. Perhaps if you tried again without typing in a overly distracting manner, I would have something positive to say about it.
Eep. Why are there capitalized letters?
I always hated cummings, but nice job imitating his style. Only imitating, never duplicating, of course =)
Sorry, UberJimmy -
This is a pathetic little reminiscence that goes no
where.
All the best,
Brad
Well I apologize for not being able to surpass one of the greatest American poets of all time. As far as meaning something to you, I'm sorry you took nothing away from it, but everyone has their own taste. Also, everything was written as it was meant to be, but thanks for taking time to read it.
I think I'd like this better if you did the same cool format thing without dividing up words on seperate lines. It's really distracting, and messes up the flow because I have to go find the other half of a word instead of continuing on. Also, it makes it harder to read aloud if you want to.
Also, it might be cool if you made the dashes white so they aren't visible and it's just the waterfall on its own.
This line sounds really awkward to me.
Good luck.
This is not of ee cummings quality, if that's what you were aiming for. This seems to be some sort of strange attempt at experimental poetry that has lost me entirely. I couldn't pay attention to the poem because of the bizarre punctuation and breaking up of words. I realize that cummings did that, but his poetry still means something to me. I find myself unable to critique anything but the spelling.
Switch the t and l and put a p in for b: Abruptly.
Nix the e: truly.
Hmm. *ponders this poem*
Colleen
Beautifully done! I love this one! It's as if I can feel the very motion of his paddling and then his eventual stop. Lovely!