Published September 7, 2005
Would you mind if I kept this memory
’Till the end of time?
Remember you once you've forgotten me
One day, years from now
When I look behind
Try to recall a face that I can't see
What it should be
And as we drift nearer to the ending
Our time slips away
One day closer to our last goodbye
When I file away all my pictures
Tell myself someday
I'll find you again but I'll know its a lie
Call out but no reply
A flame that's just been extinguised
The embers stray
Desperately trying to stay alive
But I know it won't be long before
They smoulder away
And float off towards the skies
A lonely sunrise
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
To be honest, it does nothing for me. I can't imagine it set to music and flowing- it seems more like a poem than a song. I think you should add some sort of chorus, or a repeated line; there seems to be o central theme, no idea that runs right the way through it. I think if there was a chorus between these verses, it's be a rather nice song. =)