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Falling Falling snow

by Tsukarin

Does this interest you? The type is a fantasy romance.

Falling falling snow's plot begins with the main character "Misuki Yuuki (aka Yuu)". When she was about 12, her parents died in a car accident on their way to a special occasion leaving Yuuki and her little brother, Hiroto (aka Hiro), behind. The two sibling's were separated and Yuuki grew older. Entering a boarding school called ShayBlue, she meets two boys named Kain Kai and Tenmiya Hibari(aka Hii). However, as they turned 19 and just before Yuuki gets the chance to meet her little brother once again, there was a terrorist attack on the school. Finally recovering from the incident, Yuuki makes an agreement with Phoenix D'Arc (An unknown entity) to exchange what has happened for a part of her life so that she wouldn't have to live her life alone.

Then the story restarts itself on the same day of Yuuki's parent's accident. However many things seemed to have changed. Having an argument with Kai when they were 12, over a stupid incident, they patch things up after Yuuki got first in the class beating Kai. However, even though Kai said that he would be seeing her in High school he never turned up. She then meets Hibari, the transfer student who happens to be her father's best friend's sister's son and her neighbour. Later on, Kai returns looking better and more popular than before.

The three of them will go through ups and downs and periods where they would date each other, but in the end, they decided that being just friends is more than enough for them. When they are older and working, Yuuki meets Phoenix, thinking that he was just Kai's colleague. In the end, Yuuki married Phoenix and remained living next door to Hibari.

Little did she know that when she rewrote her own history, Phoenix added an extra criteria, that was to marry him. Hence making her unable to love either Kai or Hibari as more than friends when they were dating.

Then it goes on to Falling Falling Snow 2 which I haven't thought about so the idea is vague.

The main character is "Cyan D'Arc" the Daughter of Yuuki and Phoenix. She is best friends with the next door neighbour's son named "Tenmiya Kenichi"(aka Ken). Ken changes his style and the other girls in class start to take notice of him. They want to know if Kenichi is dating her because he is always around her and Cyan dismisses their doubts. To Cyan, Ken is just her best friend and the person she likes the most is his brother, Akira(aka Aki). However, Akira is going to get married that June leaving Ken telling Cyan to give him a chance to change her mind about him.

Before Ken is able to make change her mind about him, two new students join the class. Kain Natsume(aka Natsu) and his sister, Tsuki. Natsume declares his love for Cyan and invites her out on a date. Ken decides to tag along and Tsuki follows suit.

That night when Natsume sends Cyan home, they meet Cyan's mother. Natsume introduces himself and his sister and her mother gives a reaction because they are Kai's children. Currently who she would end up with is unclear.

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16 Reviews

Points: 678
Reviews: 16

Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:09 pm
Nyl says...

Sorry I am late;

Does that interest meh?!! Of course it does..The character's name and all make it sound like a manga (manga in philippines means mangoes XD) to me. The plot and all seems to be awesome, fantasy and romance, pfft! Nothing is better than those types of stories.

There are things that seemed to be vague for me, but I know that this plot is just the beginning. The love interest of the MCs, characteristics and their life sounds intriguing to me. This piece is going somewhere, although if you are targeting the general audience they might get confusde with the plot and all. You know, the usual crowd type.

Tsukarin says...

You gave me a scare in the starting... Well... I am more of a fantasy romance writer after all. Though this is the first time I tried doing something with a time-lapse idea. Though I am not sure it would go that smoothly.

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94 Reviews

Points: 6016
Reviews: 94

Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:23 am
Nook wrote a review...

This sounds a whole lot like a manga's plot to me! There are a whole bunch of twists and turns in this plot line that I really like.

The whole re-writing of history and the different romances are all very complicated and leaves room for errors, just remember that...

Instead of a novel, turn this into a light novel or a manga. Normal readers would probably become very confused and throw down the book right away.

And if you do start writing, I'll come along to review and to read, and personally, I think it's very sad and WRONG for her to marry Phoenix. But, I guess that's just a normal fan girl's view of things!

Tsukarin says...

Light novel? Maybe I should try that.

I was writing the story thinking how it would feel like. Basically, I do not approve of her marrying Phoenix. but I have no choice but to follow what the character in my mind's eye does.

Thank you.

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57 Reviews

Points: 7963
Reviews: 57

Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:51 am
Celdover wrote a review...

Hello there. I can see you're new to the site, so allow me to give you a bit of a pointer. Premises for stories are usually posted in the Writer's Corner of the site, so you should post these kind of things there from now on.

But seeing as it would be downright rude to leave without saying something I shall review.

First off, why all this time traveling business? If you want to write a romance story you could do it in far simpler settings. So why choose this situation? Ask yourself "What does this complex situation add to this relationship-based story? Would my story be any different if I were to change the setting to something simpler? What would that change add and take away from my story, and what is it I really want out of my story?" Because I'm really not seeing the need for this complicated situation other than to pair Yuuki up with a time lord (or whatever he is).

Secondly, I'm kind of wondering why this Phoenix guy is so intent on marrying Yuuki. I know this is a romance story and all, but just because it's in the romance genre doesn't exclude it from having to use logic. Why? Based on this time travel business this Phoenix guy seems pretty powerful. So what could he possibly want from Yuuki that he'd marry her to get it? And if you're going to say "Because he wants her love" there's going to have to be a pretty good reason for that as well. Why does he want her love? Is it because he didn't receive love as a child? Is he lonely? Does Yukki's heart contain the secrets of the universe, which can only be unlocked through the power of love? Is the power of love needed to power his super evil device? The why part of marriage and love is very important since there are reasons why people marry the people they do, and they don't necessarily have to be connected to romance or love.

I'm also a bit confused about the sequel bit. Apparently this new main character is unaware of his parents' history, and said history doesn't appear to have any bearing on what happens in the sequel. So why have the first story arc in the first place if it's not going to influence your second one? What was the point of the first part, other than to tell who was who's kid. Why not just start with the second one? Do you have plans for the first part to tie in to the second?

Also, why all the Japanese names? I'd really like to know the setting of this story and whether or not this story will have a connection to the real world and how significant said connection will be (the time period is also important due to how cultural customs change over time). This is kind of an important thing to explain when you're talking about the premise of a story because it establishes context. I have no context about this story so I'm really not sure how Japanese names fit in your story.

All in all I think you have a lot of questions that still need to be answered before you can call this a solid premise for a story, and I can't say I'd be interested in reading it until I get those answers. I'm sure you can explain all of this or have explained all of this and just didn't detail it in your post, but this is just my two cents on the matter based off the information I've been given. It's also important to remember that execution of your ideas will play a huge role in whether or not people will like your work. You could have the best idea in the world, but if it's not written right then nobody will like it. Similarly, the most cliche plot line can have legions of fans. It's all in the execution.

Feel free to contact me with any questions or comments.


Tsukarin says...

I would love to start the story from the second part. But Yuuki has her own thought and her own emotions which would definitely differ from her daughter.

I have a special attachment to Japanese names because all the stories I write fit best with them. Though I would make not much of a difference if I were to use English names, I still feel more at ease if they were Japanese names instead.


The first draft is a trip to the amusement park. The next drafts are returning there as a safety inspector.
— SunsetTree