Growing up differently

:D

if you thought having a twin, little or older sister was a nightmare, try being one of four children born at the same time. that is, quadruplets.

i hope you enjoy, even though i havent finshed the story and am working towards the thickening plot. i'll do the second part if you guys out there want me to continue caus i have a bazillion ideas swimming around in my head, waiting to be shared! :idea: :wink: :idea:

Tsitsi

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Stori
Review
Stori wrote a review · Sun Aug 24, 2008 5:11 pm

First off, usually the only place you post work to download is in Advanced Critiques. (I won't tell, but ask a mod to move this.)

Second, the critique.

Stacey and Aaron are related.


Should be "were," since the story is in past tense.

Their quadruplets


"They were." Again, don't forget about the tense.

That's none of your business, now


I'd make that two sentences, starting after the comma. It works better. After that, it's mostly capitals you missed. I'll send the Word document for those.



Meet me in Montauk.
— Charlie Kaufman