Published November 1, 2005
Fear
Heartbeat, running
Fleeing from a fear I
Cannot see
Silence which sears my
Terrified soul
Darkness which blinds me
Clouding my mind.
A piercing scream,
Shiver from a nonexistent breeze,
Freezing in a sweltering heat.
Paralized by Fear
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Heartbeat, running
Fleeing from a fear I
Cannot see This is good, but are you talking about running mentally from something, or actually running?
Silence which sears my
Terrified soul
Darkness which blinds me
Clouding my mind. Nice...
A p.iercing scream,
Shiver from a nonexistent breeze,
Freezing in a sweltering heat. The first line of this stanza makes it more scary, but then you sort of let it down at the end, although the last line 'Paralized by Fear' is good.
Paralized by Fear
Good job. I think its a good length, but like Avandor said, it needs more feeling, and emotion, as it was a bit cold.
It's short and simple. i really like it. it is a really strong poem with really tense moments.
Quite beautiful. but I do think it needs just a wee bit more...finesse, more...soul, its not alive enough. When I read about fear I want it to be dynamic, I want the poem to infuse fear itself inside me, on ANy level at all. It is a good poem, not too long, not too short.