Fear ( Writing Practice)

by Tríona

Published November 1, 2005

Fear

Heartbeat, running
Fleeing from a fear I
Cannot see

Silence which sears my
Terrified soul
Darkness which blinds me
Clouding my mind.

A piercing scream,
Shiver from a nonexistent breeze,
Freezing in a sweltering heat.

Paralized by Fear

Comments & reviews · 4
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Boni_Bee
Review
Boni_Bee wrote a review Review · Nov 1, 2005

Heartbeat, running
Fleeing from a fear I
Cannot see This is good, but are you talking about running mentally from something, or actually running?

Silence which sears my
Terrified soul
Darkness which blinds me
Clouding my mind. Nice...

A p.iercing scream,
Shiver from a nonexistent breeze,
Freezing in a sweltering heat. The first line of this stanza makes it more scary, but then you sort of let it down at the end, although the last line 'Paralized by Fear' is good.

Paralized by Fear

Good job. I think its a good length, but like Avandor said, it needs more feeling, and emotion, as it was a bit cold.

User avatar
Angel17
Comment
Angel17 commented Comment · Nov 1, 2005

It's short and simple. i really like it. it is a really strong poem with really tense moments.

User avatar
Zion
Review
Zion wrote a review Review · Nov 1, 2005

Quite beautiful. but I do think it needs just a wee bit more...finesse, more...soul, its not alive enough. When I read about fear I want it to be dynamic, I want the poem to infuse fear itself inside me, on ANy level at all. It is a good poem, not too long, not too short.



I cannot separate the aesthetic pleasure of seeing a butterfly and the scientific pleasure of knowing what it is.
— Vladmir Nabokov