Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
When a friend tells you a secret, something which they could trust no one else with, you are naturally expected to keep it, after all promises are promises. However sometimes your trustworthiness can be over estimated and your head can fail your heart. I remember when I failed my friend and did not keep my promise of secrecy. I had expected rage, hate and bitterness but her reaction shocked me to my very soul. Her eyes filled with disappointment, shock and most of all regret. I had laughed and scorned with the crowd but I cried out bitterly inside. Questions flooded my mind: Why? What was I thinking? How? Regret shall always be the most brutal of tormentors.
Okayy...well, I don't believe I've had to review such a specific paragraph before so this is something a bit new to try and analyze. Before I get into it though I would recommend giving a little more context as to where this is from in the story and what its trying to do because that is important to judging something like this rather than it just standing alone this way.
Now moving into the piece itself, on its own judging it just as sort of the emotional moment its trying to hit, it works but at the same time it doesn't. By that I mean, this is a decent way to sort of have a reveal like this and try and capture the kind of powerful emotion that comes with a moment like this, but also its hard to say if this would overall really have much of an emotional impact unless you had a lot more emotion and buildup to stand behind this. So as far as technically doing what this paragraph wants to goes, I think it works great. So if thats what you want to know I don't think you need to do much more, but if this paragraph really works in the context of the story you need to see if you've got the right weight behind it first.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 293881
Reviews: 4237
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