Sexism or an Overreaction?

Sexism or an Overreaction?

I’m a 20 year old University student who, thankfully hasn't experienced sexism on an extreme level the way some girls my age have. Yes, I’ve had the odd wolf whistle here, the odd cat-call there and even a few chauvinistic jokes told in my presence but I don’t really see these actions as sexist, they don’t particularly offend me and I certainly don’t feel threatened in any way. I know some people will already disagree with my thoughts on the above but that’s not really the issue here, I’m sure there are just as many ‘jokes’ women can tell about men, so let’s not focus too much on that. The issue I want to bring up is one of my recent experiences at work and how for the first time in my life I really began to wonder whether I was experiencing sexism or simply overreacting? Before I get to the main issue I want to build the scene up a little and give you some background to how this ‘sexism’ has slowly but surely been brewing the last few months.

I started working at my part-time job in a clothing/home-ware store when I was 17 and still in college. It was a weekend job nothing more and whilst it was never the most stimulating of jobs I enjoyed it. I had friends there, the managers were nice and I was getting paid. The store is fairly big and by far one of the better kept stores in the retail park where it is located and although we’re not the sort of store that young people are likely to attract, the staff (who on the weekend are all around the 16-22 age) take a great pride in maintaining high standards throughout the store.

Two years later and I was about to leave home to go to University. Unfortunately for me all of my University choices were located far from home so I knew that my time at the store was coming to an end. Luckily for me my manager managed to get me a transfer because our store had another branch located in my university town. This was brilliant news, I had a job as soon as I got to university and during my Christmas and summer breaks I would be allowed to continue in my home branch too.

So I began work at the new store. It was a lot smaller than my home branch and located just at the edge of the highstreet. The interior was a little dated and there just wasn’t the same quality as in my other store. But this didn’t bother me, it was just a weekend job after all.

I began work in October which was just the same time as the store was training up some of their temporary staff for the Christmas season. Of course, it turned out they were very glad to have me considering I needed no training and could actually help train some of the newcomers too. I settled within no time and whilst the store may not have been as glamorous as my original one the people were lovely and I soon made a strong group of friends.

Once Christmas was over many of the people I’d gotten to know left the store, their contracts finished. Now every year three or four of the best ‘temps’ are offered a contract extension and this year was no different. To my surprise (and I’ll explain why in a moment) the three temps asked to stay on were all boys. The only reason this surprised me was because traditionally the store is very female oriented, yes we have a male section but the vast majority of our customers are older women. Also, over the Christmas period the boys hadn’t really been involved in the day-to-day running of the store, they didn’t use the tills all that much, or tidy the store at the end of the day, they didn’t even do shifts in the fitting rooms. Their main job had been helping to pack larger items and shift Christmas stock in the stock room, basically manual labour. Now that Christmas was over there was little need for stockroom handymen. All that said, it didn’t bother me in the slightest because I’d become good friends with all three of the lads and so having them stay was a positive for me.

I finished my first year at uni and went back to my other store for the summer. In September I was back, the other weekend girl had left so now it was pretty much myself, the three boys, the floor manager and maybe another girl who would come in for a couple of hours halfway through the day.

It was now in my second year that I began to notice some…well, I suppose changes is the best way of putting it. Here’s a brief list of some of the changes:

The (female and male) managers’ attitudes towards me vs. towards the boys – it slowly emerged that the boys could seemingly get away with any kind of silly behaviour. From taking an extra ten minutes during their lunch break to just chatting instead of working. Now, I’m not a stick in the mud and have to say I too enjoy a good work-time chat but nearly every time I stopped for a minute to chat to one of the boys I’d be told to move along by my manager, they on the other hand were never reprimanded at all.

The extra hours – I soon realised that two of the boys had been offered extra hours on the Saturday (we all work Sundays) as a student I had previously made it quite clear that the weekdays were off but I could work all weekend if needed. Nobody even asked me.

The tasks I was given – I noticed suddenly that I was hardly placed in the home department or men’s clothing. Why? That was the boys’ forte. I was constantly put on lingere (not necessary considering many stores will happily place male members of staff in the section) or shoes. Now as far as I am concerned I had drawn the short straw there – shoes is always the messiest section to tidy up and it’s a nightmare to hang bras on the tiny hangers they give us. Men’s? Standard really, just like tidying women’s clothes and home is probably the easiest of the lot, stack a few cushions, fold a few towels. Why was I always being given the worst jobs? (An opinion widely shared amongst other staff members, not just mine)

To be fair, these three examples are probably me nit-picking at best, and ordinarily they’d simply just irritate me a little depending on how rough a day I’d had. And all the while I never felt like I was experiencing any form of sexism, I’d argue that I was simply overreacting a little to these examples and allowing my emotions to get the better of me. However the next examples are less of an exaggeration – take a look:

Time wasting and unprofessionalism – I want to firstly just remind you that I am not in any way some sort of party-pooper who takes her part-time job too seriously but I do want to point out how after my second Christmas with the new store I really began to notice the difference in standards between my two stores and not just in a materialistic way, the management was worse in the new store too and here’s why.

As I mentioned before the boys would always be given the ‘better’ jobs to do but to give them credit there was one job they had to do weekly that I was grateful for and that was putting the store bin out (our store has a coffee shop too so it’s not just cardboard boxes etc.) The ‘bin’ is one of those big industrial ones and they have to load it and take it to the back of the store. Thanks to the bin’s size usually two of them have to wheel it out, although arguably it is a one man job. Since this was always one of the last jobs to be done and I was never asked to do it I would usually be the only member of staff on the shop floor for about five minutes…or make that twenty minutes. As the weeks passed it seemed to take them longer and longer to do one simple task and the managers never did anything about it! Believe me, I’ve seen some of the older women who work mid-week put this bin out faster than them, how can they get away with it?

My second gripe here is the HUGE display of unprofessionalism displayed by the boys. At the end of the day when the customers are gone we have to take the tills up to the security room. We have around ten tills full of money to carry upstairs so naturally we use a trolley to carry them up, sometimes two depending on the size of the trolley. On several occasions the boys have sat in the trolleys and ‘raced’ each other down the aisles to see who can get to the tills first. I know the customers are gone but how unprofessional can you get? I don’t know whether it’s a case of lower standards but I know that nobody in my other store (male or female) would dream of doing such a thing not because they are ‘boring’ and not because we have stricter or harsher management just because there is a sense of professionalism that must be maintained.

Unprofessionalism also happened during trading ours once. An elderly lady wanted to return an item because it had been damaged in the wash despite our label saying that the item was machine washable. One of the boys was dealing with her – let’s call him Henry – the problem he faced was that the customer didn’t have her receipt which by our policy meant that we couldn’t refund her the money in cash, she could either exchange the item for another (which she quite rightly didn’t want to do in case the second item damaged too) or she could accept a store gift card loaded with the price of the item – at today’s price. It turned out the item had dropped in price dramatically (from about £12 to £2) and naturally she didn’t want to do that either. Her argument was that the product was damaged so she should be entitled to a full refund regardless of whether or not she had her receipt (this is actually correct by British consumer laws) of course Henry didn’t know this so insisted she wouldn’t get her full refund. The woman began to get quite angry so one of the other boys – let’s say John – also came over to help out. At this point I try to tell Henry that I think the woman is entitled to a full refund only to be rebuked by both boys – remember that although none of us are more senior that the other (just weekend staff) I have been working for the company a good two and a half years longer than both of them! I found this dismissal highly unprofessional at the time but not as unprofessional as Henry’s treatment towards the customer. Whilst she got upset he remained patronisingly happy – let me show you what I mean:

Henry (with a big ‘sales assistant’ smile): Without your receipt I can only offer you a refund at today’s price which is…£2

Customer: No that’s not right, they’re damaged I am entitled to a full refund!

Henry: (still beaming): No sorry madam I’m afraid not

Where was the customer empathy! Where was the ‘customer is always right’ attitude? Highly unprofessional in my mind.

Unfair privileges – My final issue before I come to my main debate, is one that out of all the problems I previously listed annoys me the most. This may be a feature of all high street stores I’m not sure, but at my store staff members are given a number to log onto the till system. There are 2 types of these numbers the A number and the C number. C numbers allow the member of staff to carry out all standard till operations, A numbers on the other hand not only do that but they also allow the user to carry out more complex operations such as adjusting the price of an item, opening the till drawer when the till is locked and authorising any discounts. Basically C numbers are reserved for new staff who need time to get to grips with the system and temporary staff. In my hometown store all staff (except temps) are given A numbers myself included. The new store doesn’t adopt this system choosing instead to give A numbers only to more experienced staff but I realised after my three weeks away at Christmas that all three boys had all been upgraded to A numbers whilst I (and all the other weekend girls) were still on C! Bearing in mind that I have much more experience than any of the boys and have actually used an A number before anyway! This now meant that if I quickly needed to adjust the price of one of the items a customer was purchasing I had to call for assistance! Sometimes from one of the boys who wasn’t even 18 yet and had to have my authorisation to sell customers alcohol or restricted items!

The worst aspects of this was the comments I’d get from the boys – they weren’t intentionally patronising because they are my friends but it didn’t stop the comments from coming. Things like: “can you open the till for me? Oh wait, never mind, you don’t have an A number do you?” Believe me this never gets any less annoying.

The other ‘unfair privilege’ isn’t actually all that unfair but I don’t really know how else to categorise it. One of the boys, John, has signed up to be trained as a Team Leader which basically means he can be acting manager on a Sunday. Now he’s doing this because he is staying on at Uni to do a Masters and wants some more work experience. That’s fine and good on him. I didn’t take up the training because I’m on a transfer contract and I’m obviously not available all the time as a result, one of the guys is too young and ‘Henry’ just didn’t bother. John is the more modest of the three and so doesn’t really make too much of a fuss over his new role, however this has led to unusually confident comments from the other two, such as…

“Now that John’s Team Leader it won’t be long before we’re all running the place,” (referring to all three of them as we’re all)

“I understand why they asked John to do it but why Susan? Why not me or Henry?” (said when John and Susan, an older full time worker were asked to help out after hours, why not me also? I wondered)

But this one topped it all, and was one of the few comments I actually took offence to; I was casually talking with Henry about how I’d have to make sure my contract extended to cover my fourth year at uni (I do a year abroad so obviously wouldn’t be working for my store for about 9 months in which time my contract will have expired) his response? Remember he is my age, has less experience than me and hasn’t bothered to take up the Team Leader training

“Well just make sure you keep friendly with me and John because we’ll most likely be in high manager positions by then.”

I actually had to laugh at his arrogance and told him that it was my store manager at home I’d be keeping in contact with considering he’s the one in charge of my transfer. But although I laugh at his arrogance now it also makes me wonder why he thinks he’d be any more likely to become a manager than me? He will have graduated by then, does he really want to be managing a department store after three years of graduate study?

Taking my ideas – This is one that I know is common in most work spaces. I was mentioning to Henry during my summer break, that my home store does a raffle to raise money for charity whereas this store just asks for donations. I told him how I thought it would be a good idea if this store started a raffle too and he says

“yes that’s a good idea, I’ll suggest that to management” at this point I told him that actually since I was the one who brought it up and thought it would be a good I idea I should be the one to suggest it, he just grins and says that since I’ll be away for the summer he might as well suggest it as his idea. I actually asked him not to but he refused. Now I know there’s always debates on this sort of thing but surely my asking him not to should have been taken into account?

Anyway, all these are just examples of the behaviour I’ve began to experience pretty much every time I go to work and so you can imagine it’s put a bit of a strain on my friendship with the boys. I know that a lot of the time it’s the managers more than the boys themselves but my final example is what I consider to be the last straw.

For the first time in what seemed like months I was placed on home for an hour during my shift. The only issue was that it was the quietest part of the day and the department was spotless. Not a towel unfolded or cushion out of place. I stayed there for about 15 minutes before taking the initiative to find something else to do whilst staying near the home department. Maybe stack some shoes since the shoe department is near the home range. So I headed to the main desk and rummaged around for some shoes. I find two or three pairs and within minutes I am once again left with nothing to do. I decided to seek out the manager and ask her if there was something a bit more useful she’d like me to do. On the way over one of the boys asks me where he could find this long flowery dress he’s holding.

“It’s right there,” I say to him pointing to a dress with the exact same pattern

“That’s what I thought,” he said “but that one is only knee length and this is a full size, come on you must know where it is!” I tell him that I don’t but he continues to moan

“You must know where it is!”

“Why should I know any more than you?” I ask him light-heartedly

“Because you’re a girl,”

I told him straight that yes I am girl, a girl who knows where men’s jackets are but doesn’t know where the dress is. I left him be, irritated but not angry. As I’m looking around for the manager Henry comes over and starts chatting, he asks what department I’m on at that moment and I tell him that I’m supposed to be on home but since I have nothing to do I’m looking for the manager. We have a bit of a laugh about how boring it is down at home with nothing to do, and he admits that he feels bad for me stuck there.

When I do find the manager she barks at me to get back down to home (strange since I was offering actually do something!)

Time passes and Henry pops down to home to chat for a bit and this time I tell him that I wish the manager would just realise that I have nothing to do on this department and that I could be helping out elsewhere in the store (something we often do by the way)

After he leaves a woman comes over and tells me she has had two lamps reserved for her and would like to collect them. I cannot believe my luck, a customer! I go upstairs to the stock room, locate the lamps, check that they are the correct ones and bring them back down to her. We head to the tills with the large box that contains the two lamps and I get ready to unpack them, bag them and charge her.

My joy of having something to do is short-lived though when Henry trots over and helps me remove the lamps from the box. Granted they were well packed so I was quite grateful for the help. But the next thing I know he is starting to remove all of the bubblewrap etc. and bagging them up for the customer,

“Oh don’t worry,” I tell him thinking that he clearly just wants to lend a hand “I’ll be ok, I can manage these,” I don’t actually need his help at all, the lamps aren’t too big or heavy and at the very least I’ll have something to do other than stand around at the home department.

“No, no,” he says “it’s fine,” he bags one of the lamps

“No really, I don’t want any help,” I tell him, a little sterner than before

“No, I’ve got nothing else to do,” he says bagging the other one and making to scan the barcode

“I’ve got nothing else to do!” I tell him angrily especially considering about five minutes ago I was telling him how bored I was “Literally!”

But he continues to ignore me, scan the items, take the woman’s cash and hand her the items.

“Thank you, thank you ever so much for your help,” the customer says to him

“Oh my pleasure!” he beams. I take the till receipt and pop it in the till, trying my very best not to just scream in rage. I slammed the till shut and marched off. I couldn’t even bear to be near Henry. How many times does a person have to say no before someone else will actually listen?

This was without doubt the first time in nearly 4 years working at the store that I felt like walking out and leaving. He asked me what was wrong. I told him the next time I say no it would be nice if he were to accept that. His response was that he thought I needed help because they were bulky!

So I suppose it all comes down to that really. Usually I am quite dismissive of people who claim their workplace is sexist just because the men do most of the manual labour or what have you, but I felt that the constant dismissal of my words by Henry was more than just an over helpful colleague. The question is would he have ignored the protests of anyone else or was it just me? Would he have even bothered fussing if one of the boys had two lamps to pack or was it simply because I am a girl?

Perhaps the most important question is the one I can’t answer for myself anymore, was it sexist or just an overreaction on my part?

I hope you found this article interesting and I’d love to hear what you think in the comments. Have you experienced anything similar? Is it an overreaction? Who is in the wrong? Is anyone in the wrong? Be sure to let me know what you think!