Dear World,
Are you sick?
Does it amuse you,
Watching me scramble around
Trying to determine
What kind of day you've thrown at me?
Are you being merciful today?
Or do I need to keep my shield up?
I'll have to guess, since you
Never let me know ahead of time.
Dear World,
I stole something today.
At first, I felt guilty
But then I remembered that
Just the other day, you took
My best friend away from me.
And the week before, you snatched away my valuable time.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
I thought we were even, but as long
As this continues, we'll war for eternity.
Dear World,
I saw a daisy today.
It was growing out of a crack in the sidewalk.
It had wilted, so I went to fetch some water.
When I returned, I stayed for a while
Laughing about your twisted irony
And how I could care for something
That sprang up from my hatred.
As I marvel at your nature,
I'll call for a short truce
Our feud will never end, but
At the very least I can stop battling
If only for a bit, anyway.
For once, I appreciated you today.
Sincerely,
The People
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Hi there!
This is a good poem. I like how you made it a letter. It's well written and I enjoyed reading it. I only have one critique and it's pretty much what lele said before me. I think the poem needs some good imagery. You can make it really great if you add some. Instead of saying that you 'marvel at your nature', you could describe some of the nature. Maybe describe a couple of your favorite flowers or something.
Other than that, it's great! Keep writing!
I like this, the only thing that I have to say about it is that it needs a little bit more imagery. Parts of it seemed a little dry, and on such a strong topic this poem should be a bit stronger. And full of more imagery. Other than that interesting topic choice, and word choice. It seemed well thought out.