The booming and banging of that horrible night,
The loud and disturbing noises gave me such a fright
Why mommy, why daddy? Why do you have to fight?
I’m hiding in room, trying to escape the noises, trying to get away.
Away.
Faraway. As far away as my favorite dream.
My favorite dream.
Im in my bed just waking up on my birthday, mom comes in with my favorite cake.
Double chocolate with a fluffy creamy filling. Dad comes in and hugs mom, hugs me.
They’re laughing, and I’m laughing, how can this be? Then I wake up and remember it’s only a dream
I m sitting up in my bed now, crying about what could have been and what should have been. But it is not. I guess life isn’t fair. Dad hitting mom, mom threatening to call the police if dad doesn’t stop abusing her and me. Its kind of funny in an ironic way, people taking everything for granted, their happy little dinners. When what do I get? A very bloody knuckle sandwich
I love this poem, it was so beautifully tragic.
I'm really unsure on the format and style, its very broke which actually relates to the characters feelings, a clever thing to do.
The repitition used and the alliterations were well placed, and helped the poem flow amazingly.
There are a few grammar errors, but nothing fatal.
Overall, great poem.
The theme reminds me of books i've read. With the main character confused at whats going on. saddened by reality. confused by the fake smiles and laughter.
I noticed one mistake, you wrote "hiding in room" did you mean to write "hiding in MY room"?
otherwise, an overall great expression of feelings.
See trinity!!! I told you this was a good poem!! That just goes to show that you should trust me when i recomend BOOKS (i told you so!!!) as well when in saw that i like something that you wrote. and once again I TOLD YOU SO THAT A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY WAS AH-MAZING!!!! Ya!
Wow. That was truly heart-touching; which is exactly what a true poem needs. It needs to reach out to others, tell them how you feel with words, the words that can leave an impression on the world. OK, what I just said was pretty deep too, but we aren't focusing on that.
Why mommy, why daddy? Why do you have to fight?
Loved it
It's a heart breaker though.
The only problem was with the I'm near the end but someone has already touched bases on that one.
I liked how the last line sort of just kept going a little.
Interesting and touching story line.
i hart this!!!! i mean cause well its me. its kinda sad too. but im happy its not about you!!!! right??right??right??? or is it?? omg is it?? well anyways i liked it so like. . . .ya. IM BOOORED. WELL IM LEAVING NOW BYYYE BYYYE!!! 
Wow! Hello! I'm Colt. Your poem was tragically great!
I don't know if it is free verse or not, but the format is weird and distracting.
There was alliteration and repetition, along with rhyming! Those are the key things to making poems flow! Good job, not many poems here rhyme much *sniffle*
There's even parallel structure.
There are a few grammar errors, but it wasn't excessive, just mostly with apostrophes.
I would check the lines length and match them up.
Overall it was okay. Bravo!
-Colt
Hi Trin! I'm June, welcome to YWS!
Such a sad poem, dear! I hope this isn't based on a real-life event.
Let's get to work on this .
Im in my bed just waking up on my birthday,
). The rhyme drew me in, dear, but I would have liked to see it continue.
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