A World Apart

Mary lies smiling on the blacktop,
finding faces in the cumulous clouds.
Around her lie her friends, who scream
in protest at injustice, inequality.
A crowd of picketers is corralled
by officers on horses, and Mary and her friends
watch as the tires of midday traffic grow nearer.
Tonight, Mary will go home
and hug her mother and kiss her father
before sliding in between her sheets.

Shadiya lies on the ruddy roadway,
squinting as the tracer rounds take flight.
Next to her lies her mother,
who knows the dangers of leaving the road
and those of staying on it.
Five steps to the left could be a trip mine,
of which the cost would be limb or life.
Five miles ahead may be an ambush:
men with grave demeanors
and plastic explosives duct-taped
to their chests, something
Shadiya wishes to know nothing about.

Comments & reviews · 6
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Angelheart
Comment

this is very good but i dont understand what is happening to your girl
maybe you should add more to it

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God
Review
God wrote a review · Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:19 pm

The contrast of cultural and geographical boundaries is obvious when put like this. I liked the poem, yet somehow, it seems as if it isn't entirely what it seems. great job. most of the other stuff was picked up by other people first. oh well.

peace.

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Maki-Chan
Comment

not much to correct. Suzanne I think got them all. other wise- WOW. I loved it. Well done. I can't wait for more ^_^

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ashleylee
Review

Wow. This was really beautiful. It showed the contrast between the two people and the major impacts these differences make on their lives.

All I have to say is that you did a wonderful job! :) I really enjoyed reading this!

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Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review · Sun Dec 16, 2007 7:52 pm

by men on horses
I don't understand the idea of men on horses...Why are they on horses? I think I'm just missing the link.

......grow nearer.
I don't like the ellipses here. It doesn't really do anything for it the poem, as far as I can tell.

I really loved the world parallels. It's a beautiful poem, I just do not have a lot to say about it. I suppose because it is an obvious poem. I need not hunt for the meaning, it is right on the surface... But it is still a great poem. ^_~



And on the pedestal these words appear:/'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings;/Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'/Nothing beside remains.
— Percy Bysshe Shelley