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E - Everyone

the odd kid

by Toy467

				 The Odd Kid
	Alexander Hunter the third, he was the third
Alexander Hunter there was in his family, was a very very really odd
kid and he was born on December twenty first, and in the year of
	This odd kid was named Alexander Hunter the
third and he lived in a house with two sisters, one aunt, one
grandma, one female cat, and one male dog. His sisters were named
Sarah and Crystal Hunter. His Aunt was named Maggie and his
grandmother was named…well he never knew her name he
just called her Grandma, his cat was named Lena a.k.a. Fluffy and
last but not least his dog was named Skyler.
	Alexander was beast at playing video games.
Some of the games he had were Asphalt Revenge, Assassins Creed,
Monopoly Streets, Mini Ninjas, and a Zombie game. He was awesome at
all of them and was on the highest rank on all of them, too!
	One day when Alexander was playing basketball
outside, he heard a loud groan and he looked in the direction it was
coming from and he saw a bunch of zombies. So, he grabbed every tool
he could as well as his family, and went to a huge ditch he had made
just in case something like this ever did happen. Everyone got to the
ditch in time, but, the zombies were around four feet away so they
started whacking them with the tools Alexander had brought to save
his family with.
	The next day, all of the zombies were gone,
except for one single stupid zombie head. Alexander found a zombies
head when he was playing and it said we just wanted to trade with
you. Alexander found out that they were only really old, non-dying
traders from the ancient empires of Ghana, Mali, and Songhai. He felt
sorry for them and gave them a picture of ice-cream.
	On September Second, Alexander went to a merit
badge camp for Boy Scouts. When he got home from that, he changed
into regular clothes. Then he went next door to see if his friends
were there and it just so happened that they were, so, they came out
and played with Alexander. Alexander’s friends were named
C.J. and George, but he did not know their last names. They played
for hours until it was time for Alexander to go to his father’s
house across town. Alexander’s dads name was Timmy Hunter.
	That night, Alexander played pool with his dad
and bet twenty dollars and beat his dad. Alexander stayed over at his
dads until Sunday at six o'clock in the afternoon. When he got back
to his grandma’s house, he went to play with C.J and George
once again.
	He went to school on Monday. When he got there,
he went into the theater because he did not want breakfast and played
a game called Zombocalypse on a very fun website that had many games
such as this, and there were other cool games on it too but he never
played them because this one was the best on that website, well it
was to him, for now, because he did not know who else liked it the
same as him, anyway. 
	He had seven teachers and seven classes. These
classes were E.L.A, Design, Math, Band, Social Studies, Science, and,
last, Spanish. He had one teacher named Miss Burnett and she was the
meanest and strictest he had ever had. Alexander also had a teacher
named Miss Bolton who was really nice and let him have a free day on
Fridays after they were done doing what they had to do for the day.
At lunch almost every day Alexander would go up to the library and
play a game Called Red Shift. He also played many games on many other
different websites as well.
	One day, he got caught playing the games when
he was not suppose to, so he got his computer taken away and did not
get it back for a few months. Once he did get it back, he still was
not allowed to take it home. So, he had to use his grandma’s
computer at home. Alexander loved the home computer, and when no one
was watching, he played games. He only got caught a few times and
other than that, he liked using his grandma’s computer at
home to do work on.
	When Alexander was good on Fridays and had no
homework, which was very unlikely, his grandma let him play on the
XBOX. When he played on the XBOX, he sometimes played with his
grandma but when he did not play with his grandma, he played racing,
fighting, or monopoly games. Sometimes, when Alexander went over to
his dad’s house, he would play some kind of game with his
	One day, Alexander said, in front of everybody
in his family, “When I grow up a little bit further, I want
to go to some kind of military school.” and his father said,
“But, why do you want to go to military school?” So,
Alexander said, “It is because I really want to learn a lot
of cool military moves and gun usages and plus my friends are going
to be there!” After Alexander said that, everyone else agreed
and said to each other, “Well it is his choice.”
	After the conversation was over, Alexander’s
Grandma tested Xander on his E.L.A. word study words and Alexander
got a one hundred on it! The next day at school, Alexander had his
real E.L.A. word study test for words that start with the prefix
fore- and he could not wait to see his grade! Because of this, he
wanted the weekend to go by at a medium pace. So, he helped his
Grandma clean over at the house and played on the XBOX. Alexander had
so much fun that the weekend went by so very fast that the end of
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday felt all mixed together like it
was just one day! 
	On Thursday of that week, Alexander was
supposed to be doing a worm lab in Miss Burnett's class but there
were three people that were not in school that day and one of them
was one of his really close friends and that friends name was Austin
Hankie. Some other close friends of his that went to the same school
were Isaiah Green and William McCoy, but they were at school that
day. When Alexander went into the theatre on Thursday, William told
Alexander that his friend from high school got stabbed by his older
brother. It sounded like it was coming from the street across from
the school he went to.
	A few days later, Alexander started making
notes to all of his teachers and started on two very big projects.
One of the projects he got done in just one night! But, Alexander had
stayed up until twelve o’clock so he would get it was done.
The other was huge and it was for his Spanish class. For
Alexander’s ginormous Spanish project, he had to make an
alphabet book for children and it had to be translated into Spanish.
	For the next few days, he did not have to go to
school because all the roads had ice on them. Next week Tuesday he
did not have school again because there was pure snow on the ground.
He was liking and hating the days with no school. He hated them
because his Grandma made him stay in most of the time because he had
so much to get done in so little time. But, in contrast, he liked
them because his Grandma let him play outside a little during some of
those snow days that he had no school. So, Alexander played in the
snow for a few of the days. Well at least for the days his Grandma
let him play outside because he had a cold which was boring since he
could not go outside or even go out onto the porch because his
grandma thought it was way to cold.
	Little did Alexander know when he got back to
school they took his macbook and he did not get it back until we
started benchmark testing in school. Alexander and his classmates
took four tests. They were Science, Social Studies, Math, there were
two benchmarks for math and they was one portion were he had to write
the answers and a portion were he had to type the answers, and E.L.A,
there were three benchmarks for E.L.A and there was a writing
portion, a reading portion, and a different kind of reading portion.
Alexander had gotten them done in two days but Alexander, like the
rest of his class had to take the reading benchmark on Monday.
	The day after the first two days of benchmarks
Alexander got a substitute teacher for his E.L.A class until after
Friday because his teacher had to do something relating to either
school or family emergency. Alexander did not know until his teacher
was able to get back to his school to teach again and that might be
Monday, when Alexander took the E.L.A reading benchmark. This teacher
named Mrs. Williams was one of Alexanders’ favorite
teachers’. Mrs. Williams was the second best teacher to him.
The teacher Alexander liked the best was Mrs. Bolton, his design
class teacher. Mrs. Bolton was the best teacher to Alexander because
she let him and his classmates play games on their MacBooks when they
were done doing whatever classwork they needed to do in her class,
she even let Alexander and his classmates play on the Macbook’s
until the first bell, the bell to start the class, rang. Mrs. Bolton
was a really nice and really fun teacher and I wish she would be one
of my teachers for my time on the earth. Mrs. Bolton’s class
is my second period class of this semester. 
	Three weeks after Alexander got back from
spring break he had to take some exams for all of the classes he had
for that semester, those classes are but not limited to E.L.A,
design, math, band, social studies, science, and Spanish, even though
Alexander probably will not have any exams in his design, band, or
	Alexander had passed the sixth grade and made
it to the seventh grade. But he did not start seventh grade off on a
good start that year because he started playing way too many games
and he was starting to not turn his homework and classwork. But if he
did turn in his classwork or homework in to his teacher it would most
likely always be turned in to his teachers late well at least he
almost always turned it in late, turning his classwork and homework
in late it would lessen the grade amount that he would get on it.
	In seventh grade alexander had two semesters,
just like sixth grade, the teachers alexander had where Mr.Hogan, for
math, Mrs.Bomar, for English Language Arts or [E.L.A] for short,
Dr.Vern Whyant, for band, Mrs.Terell, for social studies, senior
Urdaneta, for Spanish, Mrs.Sistare, for science, and last but not
least Mr.Oswald for robotics. 
	In robotics he talked way to much trash talk,
and the worst of it was a sixth grader and the sixth graders name was
Ethan Wells, he was a really nice kid and Alexander did not know why
he did that. I guess he thought that was cool because he saw
everybody else doing it then Ethan told on Alexander because he was
doing that.
	later that week Alexander got called down to
the assistant principals office by Mrs.Ambercrombee Johnson [or
Mrs.AJ for short]. There are three assistant principals, but thats a
story for another time. The next day after that Alexander had to go
back to Mrs.AJs office again and got a suspension slip until Tuesday.
Later that day what Alexander did not know was that Mrs.AJ was going
to call Alexanders Grandma and Alexanders Grandma said “Alexander
would already basically have a suspension because we are going on a
trip to Cleveland, Ohio” after that Alexanders Grandma took
Alexander all the way back up to the school and made him tell Mrs.AJ
a whole statement and Alexander meant all of what he said to Mrs.AJ. 
	The day after all of that mess , going thru all
the suspension, Alexander had to go all the way up to Cleveland, Ohio
for a funeral that was for his aunt maggie. Alexanders aunt was a
really fun aunt she will always be remembered	throughout our family
and her family. Because she was always a really fun person, maggis
funeral was on one of the Saturdays of October.  			  
	Alexanders family was going up to Ohio on one
of the Thursdays, of October, morning and was coming back down to
were he leave on one of the Mondays of October. On Thursday Alexander
stayed up really late he just could not get to sleep he stayed up
until five:o’clock in the morning because he took his morning
pill, Alexanders morning pills kept him alert that also keeps him
awake though, instead of his night pills, Alexanders night pills
makes him go to sleep a lot faster than usual. It was just
five:o’clock and that is when everybody had just woke up and
Alexander went and changed for the ride up to Cleveland, Ohio.
Alexander wanted to read what his shirt said to his whole family.
Alexanders shirt said “Christopher’s camp”
and in small red letters around about a centimeter below at
Alexanders shirt read “Helping children along the journey
through grief” and on the back of Alexanders shirt it read in
small red letters although it was the same as the small red letters
on the front “helping children along the journey through
grief” again.
	As Alexander knew Halloween was coming up he
knew that Halloween was coming up on the thirty-first of October, and
the day it was today was the twenty-second of October and every body
including Alexander knew it was the year of twenty-five-teen.

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User avatar
414 Reviews

Points: 525
Reviews: 414

Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:31 pm
Willard wrote a review...

So, this is going to be a really short review. Like, really short review. There is only one sentence in this work, so I can't really break it down. except I will.

Hey, Toy467! Stranger here on this wonderful day and I have a review for you!

I didn't find this interesting at all. This wasn't even a work. It was, technically, a waste of 200 points. See, you don't post a sentence for the cost of an average work just because. You give absolutely no room for improvement and no room for critique by just a single sentence. It's not benefiting either party. That's why, I am going to attempt to critique how you wrote this.


First of all, what are you referring to? You're lacking clarification. I need clarification. Capitalize this, too.


Interesting word choice.




This would fit much better if there was a synonym for this. Really is a really generic word.


No no real real need need to to repeat repeat this this twice twice , , seems seems very very unprofessional unprofessional..






So yeah, this is lacking quite a bit. I hate to be frank and very unprofessional, but it's just how I view it.

Stay groovy and keep writing.

Toy467 says...

look again

Willard says...

You literally cheated yourself out of two reviews.

User avatar
279 Reviews

Points: 25891
Reviews: 279

Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:27 pm
Steggy wrote a review...


Stegosaurus here for a (short review)

So these seems to be a lovely beginning but where is the plot? Or everyone else? Now from what I have learned you should write the entire short story instead of giving a hook since with the hook you need to grab the fish (reader) and make them read. Even though it does bring suspense for what could happen later on, I would suggest trying to write more.

Another thing I want to point out, is that you don't capitalize the beginning; every sentence (doesn't matter whether it is an essay or novel) you have to capitalize. It is a common known fact to do so since it will get the reader to read it. Also I don't think you should use really really ; maybe use a word that means really really odd like strange or something.

I hope you take this into consideration and this turns into a great story for people to read.

If you want me to go over anything, let me know!


Toy467 says...

look again

Random avatar

Points: 175
Reviews: 17

Thu Oct 08, 2015 3:53 am
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Kingofnate says...

Really drew me in. Way to captivate your audience

Toy467 says...


User avatar
69 Reviews

Points: 1013
Reviews: 69

Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:14 am
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anabelsinclair says...

Oooh, I'm intrigued by the suspense...

Toy467 says...


Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
— Mark Twain