The Leadslinger...part 2

by Torpid

Published December 30, 2005

Removed.

I thank those who critique it.

Comments & reviews · 6
Dargquon Ql'deleodna commented Comment · Jan 14, 2006

even if you do take all of that stuff from different stories/books, and eventually it wont seem like any of those, itle just be one entirely new situation.

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Torpid
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Torpid commented Comment · Jan 13, 2006

yes, i kinda picture Ricirik as having a van helsing type look and between that and the Leadslinger concept if this book ever got published a lot of people would think it was a rip off. Leadlsingers is a lot like gunslingers from stephen kings books, Ricirik is like Ridik (or however u spell it) and the main guy is like van helsing. And the Whole thing is kinda like the story of the jedi, least it could go that way. The unbelievable thing is though, i didnt mean to rip so much stuff off. honestly. woops.

Dargquon Ql'deleodna wrote a review Review · Jan 13, 2006

wow, this section was great, that guy reminds me a whole lot like van helsing; have you seen the movie, it's awsome. were di you get this idea, because it rocks. it is stilll very well paced, and very well written, great job. i am eagerly awating Part 3!!!

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Torpid
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Torpid commented Comment · Jan 3, 2006

Thanks, the next is coming soon. I guess i'll have to start writing this more since Atlantean isnt getting any replies. blast...
~Torpid

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Jiggity
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Jiggity commented Comment · Jan 3, 2006

Quote:
A tall, slim, bearded robbed man sat alone at a corner table, deep in the back.

Its robed, not robbed my silly little friend.
Keep writing, you definetly have talent.

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Emma
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Emma wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2005

It is as good as the last one, though I feel the sentances drag on a little in this. Like I said before, I think you should break it up a bit to make it easier for us to read. Plus, it makes it look nicer. Honestly, try it. Another pointer;

A tall, slim, bearded robbed man sat alone at a corner table, deep in the back.


...Deep in the back? What?



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