this poem was writtin when my frien was like nine and now hes twelve. the numbers on my computer quite working and they took most of the punctuation keys with them. Im showin YWS to him and he might join sooo be nice on any crits *you ppl that shread stories* and we revised it first so here goes...
Imagine
Imagine you were colored
Judged by the color of your skin
Close those eyes and imagine
How life"d be if
Martin King
had never spoken up
or struggled for what is right
And keep imagining what the world would be like
what the world could"ve become
No going to school with those white friends or sharing their oppurtunities
What the world could"ve become
Imagine
Beaten for entering the wrong diner
Waylaid spit on and thrashed senseless
Merely because the shade of you skin
Imagine
What would you do?
~Josh Rodriguez (Torpid"s Friend)
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
wierdly cool, this was exelent but you could of made it a legendary piece of work if you took the time to make it rymth , but make shore its not forced ryming
this was repetitive, and you need to fix the " when there should be '
it is a good point, though.
okay thanks....
For a 9/12 year old, pretty decent job.
Of course as a 9/12 year old I knew nothing about repitition, so if he's planning to fix it, he can fix up the wording a little bit... It was extremely .... repetitive... (O_O) haha
I liked it otherwise, it was good