Published November 18, 2008
Last night I dreamt of you
We were looking at pictures
It was the most beautiful thing I swear
For a second in the dream our eyes met,
It was no longer a dream,
it was true love again like it always was
You were smiling and laughing, as was I
You showed me your life in those pictures, -I adored
Your hair was curly, and your hands soft like tissue
Your eyes smokey light brown and your teeth white as clouds
You didnt have to do anything to make me love you
As I began to awaken, it became apparent,
unreal was this untarnished reality
Your photo's turned to sand in my hands,
falling soundless to ground below
Deep inside I forced myself in
not letting this sccharine like world go
this feeling of heart-renching bloom
I squinted my eyes closed and inside mercifully,
met your soul as I met your eyes
I felt your love now more then ever
As if my heart had been cold for years,
I felt now at last, a feeling of vivacious warmth
as your heart beated next to mine
Love flew and flew around us in a firm frequency
Undescribable to anyone but us, as we became one
We knew each other like no other.
-I awoke
Suddenly sad, cold-hearted-
I shouted your name inside my head in desperate recall
Softer then a wisper
I unraveled your name in vein, but now, unheard-
Creeping from my heart,
to my soul, to my mind,
this dream inscripted the best thing I have ever had
and felt, i knew.
It was the most saddest thing I swear
My heart rests alone now in the memories you left me
You’ve been gone to long
Yet it was just last night, I dreamt of you.
Every night is the last night, I dream of you
But may the dream of you, be the last night, I find you.
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,393 Reviews
Thanks Sky, and everyone else for the compliments! It was definatly at the time, a very emotional and personal poem for me.
"Every night is the last night, I dream of you
It was very beautiful. It is! You are talented, TALENTED! You need to keep writing stuff like this.
But may the dream of you, be the last night, I find you."
That is my favorite line! Oh, that made me cry!!!
"Deep inside I forced myself in
not letting this sccharine like world go
this feeling of heart-renching bloom" I loved that one too! You write amazingly and the lines fit together wonderfully. nice job,
~Skyy.
This is so sad, but beautiful at the same time. I loved the beginning, it felt so happy. And then you go and do the depressing stuff and I am almost in tears. Good job!
Kally
I really liked this, I really did. I love how you pieces the words together perfectly so we can know EXACTLY is going on with you and so we can understand how you REALLY feel about this...girl?(boy?)(I'm not sure).
I'm just a little confused.
I don't know why there's a dash at the end of this.
i REALLY liked that poem!! it was beautiful!!
This is nice, if a bit too long and self conscious in my opinion, but that's just me.
This sound like stupid advice, but try and listen to the words, poetry creates things just by the musicality of the words, that's what it's all about, poiein in ancient Greek means to create, because the poetry has an evocative power that other genre's don't. Use that!
Love,
Velvet
this is really good good.
you were right to say that the last line makes the poem.
keep writing=]
Ooh, a very emotional poem this was. I felt like I was ready to cry. This poem depicts that you are dreaming of you only love and then you suddenly looses her. Am I right?
As I began to awaken, it became apparent,
unreal was this untarnished reality
Your photo's turned to sand in my hands,
falling soundless to ground below
This part of the poem was very sad and emotional. You used the right words to express how you felt.
-I awoke
Suddenly sad, cold-hearted- (Who was cold hearted?)
I shouted your name inside my head in desperate recall
Softer then a wisper (Should be 'softer that a whisper)
I unraveled your name in vein, but now, unheard-
Creeping from my heart,
to my soul, to my mind, (This should be a period, not a comma)
this dream inscripted the best thing I have ever had (Should start with 'This')
and felt, i knew. (should be 'I)
It was the most saddest thing I swear (After 'thing' put a comma)
My heart rests alone now in the memories you left me
You’ve been gone to long (Should be 'too long')
Yet it was just last night, I dreamt of you.
Every night is the last night, I dream of you
But may the dream of you, be the last night, I find you.
The last line was the most emotional part of the poem. It expressed everything you felt. Well done on thi poem. It was just flawless.
Good luck.
Great poem! i like it a lot. I like the part about the pictures turning to sand in the hand. That was really neat.
But, I thought this line was phrased weird "You showed me your life in those pictures, -I adored"
But you don't have to change it if you don't want to. you might like that line a lot. I could totally see what you were getting at. I felt emotion while reading, which is the point right?