I gazed out of my window,
As the breaking of the morning light,
Slowly streamed in. Oh! So bright.
But before I could shield my eyes with my pillow
I saw it swoop down, as if it travelled at the speed of light.
It reached out and grasped the little critter in razor sharp talon.
Talons that flowed with power, justifying its might.
It glided up and gracefully landed atop a wooden pylon.
A tribute to a world it once knew,
Where it was king of the sky,
Free to the open air, day or night, it flew
And now it pleads with its eyes asking us, “Why??”
Yet, even perched atop a pylon, it makes us seem feeble
Oh, how I admire the precise mighty Eagle
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
The emotions evoked were great. I got the "mighty" vibe, but not "precise". It seemed like you kind of just threw that in at the end. Also I wasn't sure if saying light travelled at the speed of light was suppose to be humorous, but it seemed redundant linguisticly. Great poem, though. I love the way it opened, it is very relatable.
Shiney already did a great job with the detailed work, so I don't have a lot to add. I do agree that that one line is broken up a little too much and should somehow be changed. You described everything extremely well, I thought. Great choice of words and an interesing way of looking at sunlight. I think you captured the emotion you were looking for in this poem, which is sometimes rather difficult to do. Great job. Keep up the good work!
Hey thanks for the review!
About the starting, I'm going over it, and trying to fix it up, glad you pointed it out. lol ooops the grammar kinda slipped me there hehe. I've sorted it out, and I'm now trying to fix it up where I can. tell me what you think of this edited version... oh and about the spelling, thats how we spell in South Africa, sorry
ToLy
Very nice poem! I just love the imagery, and great diction. You really captured the eagle's essence.
There are only a few minor things:
That's it! Great work!
God Bless,
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ shiney1 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ