Birds In Flight

by TobyKinz

Published February 13, 2012

In The Poetry Purpose

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   Graceful birds in flight
Flying away from their home
  Someday to come home
Comments & reviews · 2
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BluesClues
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BluesClues commented Comment · Feb 14, 2012

Nice for a haiku - the only thing I'd say is, the last line feels a little blah since you repeat "home" and since it's obvious - I mean, that's what migration is, flying away and then eventually coming back. So I'd suggest going a different direction with the last line, maybe something about winter or, if you really want to talk about the birds returning, go with something about how they'll be back in spring (but still without using "home.")

Otherwise, very nice.

~Blue

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demib
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demib commented Comment · Feb 13, 2012

Finally toby! anyway back to subject its a good haiku.



And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends.
— Alex Fierro