THREE
We stood in the mouth of a valley. The land sloped down steeply, and woodland lined both sides of our path.
The bear who I assumed was Katsa, the owner of the child’s voice, began to walk forward, rather quickly now that only his torso and muzzle was still covered in stone.
“We are in the Land Of The Nomad Spirits, Artem. We are still on an adventure.” And then he added, “Say nothing to no one.” We travelled ever onwards like before, and it was almost as if we made no progress, we always seemed to be just at the beginning of the valley. The sun was high in the sky, and looking up, I saw satyrs with wings, and a young boy with a head the shape of the moon peeped at me from a cloud. Without looking where I was going, I tripped over a tortoise lying in the road. It ran off into the forest with alarming speed, and apart from Katsa, I saw no spirits again for a while.
At a bend in the path, we came across a slow moving carriage, an ominous aura hung about it. I heard shouting from inside, and a coldness came to my body. Katsa seemed not to notice, and went on, round another bend. Slowly, I followed him.
As we travelled on, the moon appeared beside the sun, but darkness did not follow it. I saw once again the boy in the sky; this time when he saw me looking I stuck out my tongue at him. He threw an orange at me. It missed and hit the earth, kicking up dust and turning into a mango tree. The boy subsequently disappeared.
We went around another bend, and we suddenly came upon the carriage again. Instead of shouting, a systematic thumping came from inside, and I noticed that the donkey pulling the vehicle had only three legs. I stood still, and I stared at the carriage, it looked severely misused; the wheels were old and the body of the vehicle was dusty. The thumping continued. Katsa had not stopped at all, he went on still, and I was now forced to follow him, he had called my True Name.
We ventured on, and my feet were very wary when we came upon the carriage again. It had stopped completely, and the donkey was now a carcass. Inside a woman screamed, and the carriage was covered in moss, vines and spider webs. I was chilled to the very bone, and although Katsa carried on and attempted to force me along, I did not move.
The woman screamed louder, a long agonized wail, and then it was suddenly cut off by a loud thump. My heart raced. I took an agonized step back towards the carriage, as my will fought off Katsa’s. I wanted whatever was happening to stop.
The carriage shook, and then with a loud crash the door slammed open; the woman fell backwards down the stairs. A man, bare-chested and incredulously hairy, with the fierceness of an enraged lion engraved on his face, stepped out. He held a belt with a large buckle, and he immediately began to thrash the woman; she was already covered in cuts and bruises and screamed wildly. I cried out something incomprehensible in my panic, the man stopped his assault for a split second, and after looking around unseeingly he continued thrashing the woman. I could not ignore what was happening; my head was fit to explode. I choked out to myself, in a puny whisper: “I can’t ignore it.” Instantly, the power of Katsa’s will seemed to slacken. It was the first time I had spoken in two years. Two Years. The euphoria of Breaking the Silence flowed through me, and I spoke the words again, louder.
“I can’t ignore it.” The man stopped, and he turned to squint in my direction, Katsa still tried (half-heartedly) to pull me away. The man seemed to finally see me, and he made an inhuman roar, I shook, I quivered, but I shouted joyously, over and over again:
“I can’t ignore it!” A ray of light appeared in the man’s chest, and he dropped the belt in shock.
“I CAN’T IGNORE IT!” More rays appeared, Katsa’s will power shattered, the man shouted hideously, and the woman stopped crying, she somehow managed to sit up.
“I CAN’T IGNORE IT! I JUST CAN’T!” His whole body turned a bright, radiant orange, and then with a final, Demonic scream, he burst into specks of sand and dust. My heart still raced, and my face was bright, I stumbled forward to help the woman up, but she only smiled and turned into a golden door in the ground, which I fell through.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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*Remembers to follow*
There, now it should remind me when new parts come out... I think.
Okay, I'll get the critical stuff out the way.
I'd go for "an ominous aura hanging about it" or "and an ominous aura hung about it."
"I stood still and stared at the carriage. It looked severely misused..."
I'd put unbelievable, rather than incredulous, the definitions a little off.
Don't think that needs to be capitalized.
Okay, now that messy business is over with, I'd like to say that this is getting more interesting and psychedelic with each chapter, and I love it. It's like Alice in Wonderland on slightly more acid. The orange throwing thing made me chuckle, and I liked how they kept walking past the slowly deteriorating carriage. Keep going Tyger Tyger, I'll review every chapter if you want me to. Because I'm such a martyr.