The young untouched and spotless.
Innocent, free, tender and naive.
Coming of age,
surrounded by pleasures,
bright with temptation.
He looks un-touching,
till one fated day,
he meets the painter’s friend of fortune.
Fortune smiles,
upon the young.
Come with me,
come taste and see.
Fortune’s tempting words,
A painters intervention,
halts the change.
Leave him be,
can’t you see?
Young and innocent, corrupt him not.
The young awaits,
while picture painted
unfolds before
the winds of fate.
Again Fortune, speaks a piece.
If only youth
eternal lasted,
what would you give
to be unchanged?
For such a pleasure?
My soul I would disown.
The youth looks
upon his visage of oil unknowing,
the powers mixing
upon the palate of his life.
Come with me.
Fortune calls.
Pleasures unmatched,
I shall to you reveal.
The painters words of protest silenced,
innocence is lost.
Then upon the wheels of time,
the coil spins.
Upon the painted oil,
looks the young.
Marked and broken ,
his painted visage marred.
Yet, untouched his natural face remains.
Years pass,
the grasp of time takes no hold,
upon the young whom Fortune called.
Lifetimes spent,
a hallow soul.
No joy is left in pleasures.
Youthful face,
ancient heart.
Hope flickers in the dark.
At last again he gazes on,
the visage of his oil face.
Old, torn, corrupt,
the look of selfishness.
In desperation the old cries out,
a challenge to the fates of time.
A torch he grabs,
the painting now aflame.
The screaming of his souls agony,
the freeing of his heart.
Hello there!
This poem took to my heart and mind because of how the pacing was situation. In fact, I loved how the pacing of the poem was situated, only slowing down or speeding up when it needed to. It seemed that the fainting hope in the poem was reflected by the abysmal pace, which is a good thing within a poem like this.
Please Pm or post on my wall what you would like me to review.I don't know a whole lot about poetry, but I can say that I enjoyed reading this piece. It seemed to flow well, but that's just my opinion. I didn't notice any spelling errors, and as far as I know, grammar usually doesn't matter in poetry (correct me if I'm wrong). Not that I noticed any grammar errors either. This next part is just a comment/question(as I'm still not very good with deciphering poetry): was the boy happy or sad at the end?(Kinda a stupid question, but hey, I'll give it a shot)
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