Us

Us sitting on the very edge of the cliff, swinging our legs over the edge like nothing could ever touch us in that moment. Me leaning against you, your arms wrapped around me so close that I could feel your warmth. Both of us together, staring into the sunset as the sun is slowly sinking into the ocean. All the reds and oranges dancing in the sky only for a moment. They turn to blues and purples cooling off the world. Then you lean over, nudge my head a little, and then we are kissing. Us in that moment, then suddenly it's nighttime and the stars come out of playing hide and seek all day. We lay down on the grassy top of the cliff stargazing. My head against your chest, listening to the beat of your heart. Sometimes I catch you just looking at me like I am the only thing you see.

I ask “What is the most beautiful thing out here tonight?”

You reply with “You are Emily, and you will be for the rest of my life. Don’t ever forget it okay?”

We continue looking at the stars, you pointing out the constellations to me. You make it a game, seeing who can find what constellation first. You always win at this game, but I don’t even care. The most important thing is this moment and how it should never end. Everything else is not as important

We eventually get bored of this, so I get out my phone and play the few love songs I have. You get up, picking me up in the process.

You gently set me on my feet and whisper in my ear “Let's slow dance.”

I very quietly answer with my soft sleepy voice “Ok. I am only half awake though. Make sure I don’t fall.”

And we slow dance to the love music on repeat. I feel my feel my feet fall out from underneath me. At first it felt like you were just holding me up in the air, so I felt safe. Then I look down and see the murky ocean below me.I yell as my feet dangle over the edge, the only thing keeping me from falling is you. I wrap my arms even closer around you if it were even possible. I start breathing very fast and shallow, afraid that this was going to be my last memory.

Not that it would be a bad memory, but I don’t want to die so young. There are still so many possibilities for us. I look back on all of our memories. Homecoming, the day I asked you. I was so nervous. All the times we just sat outside dreading the moment when the bus would come and take me home. Halloween when we dressed up as Harley Quinn and the Joker, the time I came over to your house and we played video games together, all the amazing kisses we have ever had.

In this moment I think, Why was I ever depressed? Why did I ever think that I wasn't good enough, that I would never be good enough for anybody. When all along you were right in front of my face, proving the voices in my head wrong everyday.

I grab on to you for dear life, knowing that if I fell over the cliff into the ocean that my chances were slim. That if I fell, I probably wasn't going to make it back to shore. And if I happened to be that damn lucky, you would be searching all over the coastline, hoping to see me alive and just fine.

I whisper “Don't let me fall. I don't want to die. I love you too much to just leave this world.”

“I won’t let my princess fall.”

And then you lift me safely back to the edge to keep me in your arms, never letting me go. I cry as I kept thinking of how I could have almost died today.

“Were you going to let me fall?” I ask.

“Of course not silly, I could never hurt you.”

“I don’t know, that was extremely dangerous. What if you dropped me? How would you have acted?”

“I would have cried immensely while I was searching for you Emily.”

“Well I don’t know...”

I walk closer to the edge, just close enough to have my head over and nothing else. I slowly inch closer to the edge.

“Emily, what are you doing? You just told me that you didn’t want to die, and now you are actively pushing yourself towards the edge. What is going on in your head?”

“All I know is that I thought you would have cared more. If you really cared, you wouldn’t have even let me get close to the edge. I’m going home.”

I walk away from you, and you grab me. “You are not going anywhere, because I am the one that will protect you from everything, I was just playing a small joke on you to see how you would react. I guess you didn’t like it. I’m sorry.”“I accept your apology I guess.”

“Thank you love. Now let’s cuddle and get over this. No need to be angry anymore.”

Eventually we fell asleep cuddling. In your sleep I hear you mumbling “You almost lost her today. I don't ever want to live in a world without her. Someday I am going to marry her. Someday I swear I am. Even if I have to ask a million times, she will be mine to call my wife as we say ‘I do’ in front of the eyes of God.”

I roll over to you even closer, lift up my head until I’m over you and kiss you. You just think it is apart of your dream but it really happened. I just watch you sleep, you look so peaceful when you sleep. With your hair covering your eyes a little and your shallow breathing. You slightly wake up and you are so concerned when you can’t easily reach me. Your arm moves, trying to find me so that you can hold me close in your arms.