She hasn't a name,
She hasn't a face,
She's just a number,
Another one they misplaced.
She only a statistic,
She doesn't matter, really
She doesn't need a home,
She doesn't have feelings.
She wasn't raised like me,
So she is somehow less,
She doesn't deserve a family,
Or a soft place to rest.
She doesn't exist
You tell yourself as you lie awake at night,
You try so hard to believe it,
But somehow it doesn't seem right.
She may be from another country,
Or from right down the street,
She may be the girl in the hallway,
You look but never speak.
Maybe she's like the ten year old,
No hugs or kisses as an infant,
Now she can't even speak,
Does anyone know where she went?
Lost somewhere inside herself,
She just can't be found,
And it's all because her mama
Never was around.
Maybe she's like the little ones
You see all the time on TV,
Their skin so thin, their bones so sharp,
You turn away so you don't have to see.
Do not look away again,
She pleads to you with her eyes,
Do not turn your back on me,
I'm not that hard to find.
I only want a family,
Someone to hold me when I cry,
Someone who won't hurt me,
Parents who don't lie.
Is this such a hard thing?
Just to show me love?
Maybe I don't deserve it,
Maybe I'm not enough.
Is she enough? I ask you,
As you watch her silent face,
Would it be worth it to love her?
Or would it be a waste?
Love is never wasted,
No matter what you've heard,
It always makes a difference,
Of that much I am sure.
So open up your heart to her,
And the millions of others too.
If every Mommy and Daddy loved one of these,
Imagine what we could do.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello! The meaning behind this poem was very nice, hmm? Yes. Very good--reminds me of something I saw on Oprah a few days back
First off, I'd like to say that the rhyming could use some help. Most of actually doesn't rhyme a bit, and when I get to a stanza that does rhyme, it feels out of place. For example:
She only a statistic,
She doesn't matter, really
She doesn't need a home,
She doesn't have feelings.
compared to this:
She doesn't exist
You tell yourself as you lie awake at night,
You try so hard to believe it,
But somehow it doesn't seem right.
I know it can be quite hard to find suitable rhymes, but if it works out that only about a third of your stanzas actually rhyme well, I would consider rewriting it or trying the same idea in free verse.
In the first two stanzas, I was a little bored by the repetitive "she".
In this stanza, I feel like the word "mama" is just too informal and light for this poem. I think mother would work much better here.
Again, there are some rhythm problems--read the poem out loud and try to rework some things to make them easier to read.
I really liked this stanza:
I only want a family,
Someone to hold me when I cry,
Someone who won't hurt me,
Parents who don't lie.
It's simple and something that most kids would take for granted, and here is someone wishing for it. The rhyme and rhythm work pretty well here.
Overall, I liked this poem. The beginning was boring and could be more catchy, and some parts of the poem were awkward to read because of the rhyming/rhythm but this poem was nice and meaningful. Good job!
-Cassie
Hello!
First off, let me say that I really like this piece and enjoyed it very much. Great job.
You change your rhyming pattern here and it hurts the form a little. I suggest rewording it and you should be good to go.
If you are meaning the last two lines to be spoken by the girl, they should be quotation arks like this:
“Do not turn your back on me,
I'm not that hard to find.”
It just shows the reader that someone other than the narrator is speaking.
Same as before, that parts that she speaks need to be in quotation marks.
There’s a rhyme here in between verses, it’s a little awkward, I’m not sure why. It just seems out of place to me.
*Overall I love the meaning of the poem and think you did a wonderful job. I do recommend that if you’re going to rhyme keep the pattern up a bit better. Otherwise great job. ^^
Maybe she's like the little ones
You see all the time on TV,
Their skin so thin, their bones so sharp,
You turn away so you don't have to see.
Wow, this was really good. That bit up there particularly. I have handled foster care and adoption first hand as my youngest brother was adopted.
I really liked this because it was real, and it was about something you are obviously passionate about, and care about.
I plan to adopt children when I grow up. I could see this is like a commercial, and I don't mean that in a bad way. But you know like those commercials that used to be on that had all those different actors and actresses wearing ONE shirts and talking.
That is just something I could see it in. It is a really real poem and is right on the dot about how people who are on the outside of adoption feel and for the children it actually affects.
Bravo!
-Rory