If I Gave You My Heart

Oh wow!!!!!!!
It was wonderful!!!!
dear thisismarie,
i loved to read your poetry.It expressed everything in such a beautiful an an artistic style.........
i really felt your poem.it was full of feelings and real romance.
i was really impressed by your romantic love-full and aw-full poem!!!!!!
It was really composed beautiful.I salute you for your work

CONTINUE WRITING and you will get love and support of all readers.
It was a wonderful and different poem

i love particularly the last stanze.

Still your poetry was excellent from all views

Very nice attempt to express so much depth of love and care with a pinch of vision of future..I really appreciate the way you have put your thoughts of mixed feelings.You can in future use better rhyming skills and that's the only thing i think was missing...otherwise it's too good.

Great poem. I liked how it had a clear direction and focus. It has a crystal clear message and I can completely relate to the questions the narrator asks themself. "Would you make me forget/Every sob and tiny ache?/If I give you my heart/Will you give me yours?" was a line that hit me very close to home. It was very relatable for people who have been in any serious relationship and I'm really glad that you took the time to write this poem.

Keep on writing!

Dragonrider

Oh my goodness this was so wonderful I want to like it twice! I have a soft spot for touching not overly sappy love poems like this. It was so relatable and realistic I just loved it .

Two minor suggestions !

"We’d win the battle,

We’d win the fight. ( another word instead of fight maybe unless you wanted to use repetition)

I’d whisper “I love you,

‘Will you stay tonight?” (shorter to help with flow but I guess it looses meaning ish )"

These are super picky things just because I don't want my review to be empty praise and like giving constructive advice. However, your formatting and flow were virtually flawless and even added to your idea here . I wish I was that talented.

Thanks for being an inspiration
~Kat

The poem was very romantic, and almost sad. I feel as if you were trying to tell him how fragile you already are, without sounding needy. I wouldn't exactly say that it 'flowed' with the rhyme scheme, but it was good nonetheless. There were only a few lines that slightly threw off the scheme.
For example, the final two lines.
"In return, I ask you to remember this:
I'll always love you."
It's a sweet concept that fits the theme, yes. Yet, something about it takes away from the overall feeling of the poem. Perhaps, it's due to the fact that the 'in return' line, seems too long, and out of place. I'm sure you struggled with making it sound right.
This poem leads me to believe that you are capable of righting wonderful poetry. All in all, it's quite beautiful.
Good luck to you.