The Portable Projector Screen (PPS) continues to show clips of the chaos on the plaza.
Fires burn and bodies litter the ground. People have been scared of a civil war, and now it's happening. Bombs are set off in apartments and shops, the bloodshed never ending. I hear one a few blocks away and that's when I take my cue and run, taking my PPS with me. I know the shelter near the building is useless, because the soldiers will strike there next.
This is no safe haven for us anymore, as our government has turned against us. The city was deemed as an "infected" area, but that was a lie. We're a small town, so if someone got sick we would have known and none of this would be happening. I avoid the soldiers the best I can, and head to the woods. Unfortunately I'm not the only one thinking this, since I see a big group of people head in the same direction only to get mowed down by a turret.
I turn around and dodge between the buildings still standing. I have to be invisible. I hear the sounds of screaming coming from the shelter behind the apartments as the populace is slaughtered. The people still alive are running around like crazy, trying to find a way out. They are like me, desperate and scared. I run till I reach the outskirts of the woods once more, but this side is safer as no turrets or soldiers seem to be present.
I head to the mouth of the forest, when a solider grabs my arm and I'm forced to fight him off. We scuffle for a moment, and the I hear the loud snap of his neck. For brief moment I'm afraid of what I've just done, but I don't waste the seconds and grab his gun and ammo before taking off. The forest is safe as far as I know, so I try to head to the heart of it.
My mind is a jumbled mess; with flashes of the town I loved becoming nothing but a pile of rubble and ashes.
I briefly think of my friends wondering if they're still alive, but as I turn around to see the town once I get to the center of the woods, I see nothing but flames as sparks rise in the air and the bodies rot in the remains of the town.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello Silent!
First off, this could be a really interesting story. With a nationwide or perhaps even global event happening, the perspective of a small town and it's inhabitants can be quite intriguing. Young characters, close friends and probably alot of "everyone knows everyone". Alot of appeal. This is the sort of story I myself would love to write.
However, there are some issues here.
We are dropped too quickly into the story, and there is alot going on. Alot which we don't know anything about.
So far we know nothing of what this infection is. Or why the town was deemed infected.
You also have a pretty non-existent main character. No information on personality or character is revealed. Not even a name. It's all just action.
But, speaking of action, you do that rather well.
Alot of good descriptions of scenes and action.
Will check out the next part.
Cheers
Birkhoff
Well, this was very annoying. But, only cuz it was so short!
I think you did a great job with building the tense scene and some anticipation. I know it's hard to get that adrenaline across sometimes but I think you did awesome. I guess I should go over the grammar and such, but I sort of feel like a hypocrite when I start doing that seeing as mine is pretty bad. I just wanted to let you know that if I was in a store trying to pick out a book and I read this prologue to kind of get a gauge of how much I wanted to read it, lets just say it would be going in the buggy. Now, I know this was the prologue, so I don't expect to have a lot of emotion in it but, just be careful not to carry that into the rest of the story. I mean, maybe I'm just being picky but I like a little more emotion to come across clearly. That and also a little more description. How about what it smells like? I know I'm probably going out on a limb but, I imagine the smell of burning flesh? Are the ashes clinging to the person's body? Are they tired? 
Let me know if there is more =]
Anyway just something to keep in mind