WWWRRRIIITTTEEE MMMOOORRREEE!!!!!!!!!!! III WWAAANNNAAA FFFIINNNDD OOOUUUTT WWWHHHAATTT HHHAAPPPEEENNNSSS!!!!!!
PS: I even though I already know because I've seen the movie six million times.
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Author's Note: This is my first time writing fan-fiction so I would appreciate any help really, in basically anything. Also, I tried copying this scene completely down for everything except for the very end, as to make it more dramatic and abrupt. Hope you guys like it!
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Can it get any worse? Luke thought, sucking in his breath. He pushed against the restraints that the storm trooper had placed on his wrists, grimacing when the sharp restraints cut into his skin even deeper. This is just what I get for thinking he would come back.
“Perhaps you think the rebellion can win this war,” a deep voice said. “You must realize now that there is no escaping the dark side.”
Luke turned to the figure whose dark form was leaning up against the elevator wall. The red lights flashing on the side cast a glow on the mask of the monster.
“You are mistaken, Father,” he said. “I won’t become something twisted by the Emperor, like you have. I will never become like this monster, which you have created in yourself. I’d rather die!”
“Then you will die,” Darth Vader answered. His gritty voice bounced off the walls and echoed in Luke’s ears. “I cannot change your destiny.”
Luke grimaced and turned away, watching the elevator door slowly slide up. His father motioned him to follow, and Luke stepped out and into the throne room.
His first reaction was to recover from the darkness of it. Like a tomb. It even has that smell of death, he thought, wrinkling his nose in disgust.
As Luke quickly swept over his surroundings a spot of movement caught his eye, and he looked towards the middle of the room. Overlooking the entire room was a chair. It was slowly turning, revealing a withered old man with ancient yellow eyes staring at him.
Like a snake, Luke thought.
He followed his father up the winding stairs, the red lights—that were placed into the steps—flickering off of Darth Vader’s boots and helmet.
“Welcome, young Skywalker,” the old man said. “I have been expecting you.”
Luke gazed at the wizened face of the old man in disbelief. He is the one who controls my father?
The Emperor smiled, and glanced down at Luke’s hands. “You no longer need those,” he said, and motioned with his fingers towards Luke’s restraints.
Luke felt the binders loose, and they fell clattering as they hit the ground. This is the moment where I can destroy him! He thought. He clenched his hands, as if he could feel himself strangling the Emperors neck.
But he did nothing.
Yoda’s words still rang through his head. Anger is the path to the Dark Side. Once you start down it, forever will it dominate your destiny.
The Emperor raised his head slightly, and motioned to the blood-red cloaked guards standing in the back. “Guards, leave us,” he ordered. They turned and disappeared, presumably behind the elevator.
“I’m looking forward to completing your training,” the Emperor said. “In time you will call me Master.”
Luke winced inwardly as the Emperor’s raspy voice hit his ears. “You’re gravely mistaken. You won’t convert me as you did my father.”
How did my father turn to the Dark Side? He wondered.Obi-Wan always spoke about him, as if he was the strongest with the Force...
Luke drew his eyebrows in and watched carefully as the Emperor got up from his throne and pace slowly towards him.
Oh, no, my young Jedi,” he said. “You find that it is you who are mistaken…about a great many things.”
“His lightsaber,” Darth Vader said, handing over Luke’s weapon.
Luke watched as his blade was placed into the Emperor’s hand, a contempt filling him. Just take it! A voice said to him. Kill them both, and you will have destroyed the Sith!
His eyes glassed over, and he shook his head trying to clear it. That’s not why I’m here, he reminded himself.
“Ah, yes,” the Emperor said, taking the weapon. “A Jedi’s weapon. Much like your fathers. By now you must know that your father will never turn away from the Dark Side! So will it be with you.”
Luke nervously wet his lips, fighting against the uneasiness that he was starting to feel in his stomach. Keep him talking, he thought. Han and Leia will have the shield down soon.
“You’re wrong,” he answered. “Soon I’ll be dead and you with me.”
The Emperor laughed, his thin lips parting in a threatening sneer. “Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet.”
Luke looked up sharply. How does he know about them? He stared hungrily at the lightsaber that lay next to the Emperor’s hand. Just reach for it, the voice said, goading him on. Once they are dead, you can rule the Empire… Luke blinked, and clenched his hands tight.
I can fight against the Emperor, he thought. But not against my father.
Then fight the Emperor, the voice whispered. And you can rule alongside your father.
Luke swallowed, his pupils dilating to almost pinpoints. Keep them distracted from what is actually happening. That’s why I’m here. To distract them, and turn my father back.
Yes,” the Emperor continued. “I assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here.”
Luke could feel his father’s hot stare boring into him now. That horrible black mask, which the strained breathing sound came from, only now served as a protection from the prying eyes of the public. Only Luke could now sense something inside of him. Something good.
But he knew his father was now just trying to gauge his reaction to the Emperor’s taunts. Just talk, he told himself. Don’t get angry.
He took a deep breath, and then let all the air out. “Your overconfidence is your weakness.”
“Your faith in your friends is yours,” the Emperor replied sharply, turning around.
“It is pointless to resist, my son,” Darth Vader said.
The Emperor paced slowly back to his chair and sat down. His voice—instead of the soft luring purr that he had been using—was now heated and angry. “Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design.”
He indicated the moon Endor with his finger. “Your friends up there on the Sanctuary Moon…
Luke jerked, as if stunned and stared at the Emperor.
The Emperor smiled, and continued. “They are walking straight into a trap. As is your Rebel fleet. It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them.”
Just take your weapon! The voice screamed in Luke’s head. The Emperor is unarmed. You could take them both on. Yoda could do it. Why not you?
Luke could feel tightness welling up in his chest as he glanced at his lightsaber. It was so close and yet so far away, lying next to the Emperor’s hand.
The Emperor leaned forward and smiled, his thin lips parting to show black holes. “Oh, I’m afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.”
He leaned back in his chair and nodded towards the window. “Come, boy. See for yourself.”
Looking behind the Emperor’s chair, Luke could see the flashes and explosions of the space battle far off in the distance. I should be there. His thoughts began swirling throughout in his mind, taking shape and form. Thoughts of fear and anger.
The Emperor smiled, his eyes gleaming with victory. “From here you will witness the final destruction of the Alliance, and the end of your insignificant Rebellion.”
Luke looked away from the window, turning off all thoughts towards his friends at Endor, and focused on the shape of his lightsaber lying next to the Emperor arm. The Emperor saw the focus of his eyes, and smiled, his lips parting to reveal a few jagged teeth.
“You want this, don’t you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon! Use it. I am unarmed.”
As the Emperor spoke Luke grew aware that the Emperor wasn’t just talking to him, like a father, but as one who was close to achieving his goal.
“Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make yourself more my servant, “the Emperor said, savagely spitting out the words.
“No,” Luke muttered, trying to drive force and power into his voice, but the Emperor had control now, and Luke’s eyes glazed over.
“It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now mine!”
Give in to what he says, Luke! The voice said. Leia would do the exact same thing. She would know that this is the only way to defeat the Sith.
Luke shook his head, his hand—the one good one—was feeling clammy and cold, and he turned back to watch, with horrified eyes, the Rebel ships exploding far off in space. One turned and smashed into the deflector shield of the Death Star.
“As you can see, my young apprentice, you have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station.”
The Emperor slightly turned his head, and spoke into a comlink on his chair. “Fire at will, Commander.”
Luke, in horror, turned and saw a bolt of greenish white light shoot out from the Death Star and engulf one of the Rebel’s ships. One after the other, the Rebel fleet was being decimated in blinding explosions of light and debris.
But no sound could be heard within the Throne Room. No matter how hard Luke strained his ears, he could not catch the slightest sound of battle, except the endless whirring of machines, and his father’s raspy breath.
“Your fleet has lost,” the Emperor said softly. “And your friends on the Endor moon will not survive. There is no escape, my young apprentice. The Alliance will die… as will your friends.”
The last word he leveled at Luke with absolute contempt in his voice and eyes, watching him carefully to gauge his reaction.
Luke’s eyes were full of steaming rage. He is just toying with me, he thought angrily.
“Good. I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon! Strike me down with all your hatred, and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete.”
In a fit of blind rage, Luke reached for his lightsaber and the weapon flew to land firmly in his hand. Igniting it in an instant, he swung at the Emperor’s head, not doubting his mark.
A flash of red light shone off to Luke’s side, and Darth Vader’s light saber flashed in front of Luke’s, blocking his blow before it reached the Emperor.
Slashing back and forth, Luke dueled with the one person he had sworn to not fight. Darth Vader, the evil tyrant that had ruled alongside the Emperor.
Feeling the power that came from using the Dark Side, flowing through his veins and through his arms, Luke pushed his father, until he forced him to lose his balance, and topple down the stairs, ending with a clash on the bottom.
Body poised to attack, Luke stood at the top of the stairs, reveling in his victory against his father.
The Emperor, his laughter floating in Luke’s ears said, “Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy! Let the hate flow through you!”
I’m using the Dark Side. That isn’t what Yoda taught, Luke thought, his brow crinkling in confusion.
Yoda wasn’t always right, either, the other voice reminded. You could save the entire universe from the Empire, and rule in their place!
Yes, that is true. Luke turned and stared down at his father starting to stand up, his step uncertain and awkward.
He looked down at thegreen lightsaber in his hand, watching it flicker back and forth, reflecting off the shiny metal floor.
A great calm stole over him, and his eyes hardened. His thumb brushed the cool handle of his sword, and turned off the glowing blade. He tossed it aside, watching carefully as his father ascended the steps to meet him.
When his father was a few steps away, Luke felt a yell of pure animal rage coming up, forcing through his chest and out of him. With the scream bouncing off the walls and echoing in his ears, he reached out with the Force, lifting his lightsaber from the ground—he ignited it—and threw it straight at his father.
The green blade slashed across his chest, opening huge rips and tears. The smell of burning flesh reached Luke’s nostrils, as Darth Vader collapsed on the ground, his weapon tumbling from his fingers, and falling with a small clink next to his body.
Luke turned to the Emperor, and the lightsaber flew back into his hand
WWWRRRIIITTTEEE MMMOOORRREEE!!!!!!!!!!! III WWAAANNNAAA FFFIINNNDD OOOUUUTT WWWHHHAATTT HHHAAPPPEEENNNSSS!!!!!!
PS: I even though I already know because I've seen the movie six million times.
I AM NOW FINALLY HERE.
*waits for chocolate*
Okay, I am so so so so sorry for not reviewing this earlier. You always review my works when I ask, and I've been terrible to not do the same.
I love Star Wars! I haven't seen all the movies shame on me but I always love reading fan fics about it. Enough of me ranting.
Nitpicks!
He pushed against the restraints that the storm trooper had placed on his wrists, grimacing when the sharp restraints cut into his skin even deeper.
His gritty voice bounced off the walls and echoed in Luke’s ears.
Luke grimaced and turned away
He followed his father up the winding stairs, the red lights—that were placed into the steps—flickering off of Darth Vader’s boots and helmet.
“Your friends up there on the Sanctuary Moon…
Luke jerked, as if stunned and stared at the Emperor.
Luke could see the flashes and explosions of the space battle far off in the distance.
His thoughts began swirling throughout in his mind, taking shape and form.
Luke turned to the Emperor, and the lightsaber flew back into his hand
Therese... I am IamTraunt... And I am your reviewer!
... Mwhahahahahahaha.
Okay, so I'm here to review like I said I would. I am catching you up
Nitpicks!
He pushed against the restraints that the storm trooper had placed on his wrists, grimacing when the sharp restraints cut into his skin even deeper.
As Luke quickly swept over his surroundings, a spot of movement caught his eye, and he looked towards the middle of the room.
How did my father turn to the Dark Side? He wondered.Obi-Wan always spoke about him, as if he was the strongest with the Force...
Luke drew his eyebrows in and watched carefully as the Emperor got up from his throne and pace slowly towards him.
Oh, no, my young Jedi,” he said. “You find that it is you who are mistaken…about a great many things.”
Yes,” the Emperor continued. “I assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here.”
Luke could feel his father’s hot stare boring into him now. That horrible black mask, which the strained breathing sound came from, only now served as a protection from the prying eyes of the public. Only Luke could now sense something inside of him. Something good.
But he knew his father was now just trying to gauge his reaction to the Emperor’s taunts.
He indicated the moon Endor with his finger. “Your friends up there on the Sanctuary Moon…
"Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make yourself more my servant, “the Emperor said, savagely spitting out the words.
My random brother made up something about when Luke finds out Darth Vader is his dad:
Luke... I am your mother - I MEAN FATHER
Hey, umm, I was having problems in the editing part of it, and the work kept going into italics. So if there's anything besides thought process in italics, then its because of that. Thank youuuuu guys
Wow. This is seriously good. I never thought about what would happen if Luke had gone to the Dark Side....He killed Darth Vader! He killed his father! Haha, I can't believe this! This story had me on the edge of my seat the whole way!
*quietly comments*
Lightsabers are made with heat, so blood would not flow since the wound would be burnt.
Hey sis! I'm gonna give you a really short review!
Great job on twisting the Star Wars plot. I seriously thought, "What!?!?! Seriously?! Luke is not allowed to turn evil." But he did... So yeah, good job on stringing us along.
Anyways, down to business... *gives evil criminal mastermind chuckle* hehehehe...
Nitpick Number One:
Can it get any worse? Luke thought, sucking in his breath. He pushed against the restraints that the storm trooper’s had placed on his wrists, grimacing when the sharp restraints cut into his skin even deeper. This is just what I get for thinking he would come back.
Hey sis! I'm gonna give you a really short review!
Great job on twisting the Star Wars plot. I seriously thought, "What!?!?! Seriously?! Luke is not allowed to turn evil." But he did... So yeah, good job on stringing us along.
Anyways, down to business... *gives evil criminal mastermind chuckle* hehehehe...
Nitpick Number One:
Can it get any worse? Luke thought, sucking in his breath. He pushed against the restraints that the storm trooper’s had placed on his wrists, grimacing when the sharp restraints cut into his skin even deeper. This is just what I get for thinking he would come back.
Hey! I'm a long-time Star Wars fan and I'm glad I decided to read this. It has a good concept- What if Luke acted differently in the final battle? I am very intrigued to see where you might go from here with this. With an interesting plot and continuing the intense thoughts that Luke has, you could really indulge the reader into the character as he grows following a different path than the one we already know.
Now, I'm not exactly a long winded reviewer, but one thing I did notice that was a little awkward was near the end where the lightsaber was thrown at Darth Vader. The use of hyphens breaks the flow a little, perhaps just for me, but you could probably take them out or reword it a bit to get the same point across and not break the flow at all of the tense scene.
I am looking forward to see how you could work with the change that you have caused. Please continue this! It could blossom into your own creation very easily from changing this one scene, and now you have a world at your fingertips to grow and shape. I would like to read more of this, and good work so far. Keep writing!
Hello there, young padawan!
Alright, time for some fanfiction. Not too often I'll indulge in that, but for Star Wars, there's little I wouldn't do. In fact, reading through this, I actually surprised myself a bit as to how much I love SW, seeing as the scene immidiately played in my head. I'll try my best to keep the Star Wars puns to a minimum.
Well, in short, I really liked this. It was written very well, doesn't have too many grammatical errors and it was quite easy to read through. The content is of course very interesting, which makes it all the more enjoyable to read.
Obviously though, you didn't add much to this. The majority of the piece is pretty much a play-by-play of the scene as it happens in the film. The only tweak was pretty much the small part towards the end, which I'll admit, I did find quite disappointing. Not that the tweak itself was disappointing, it's quite a large twist which would change the entire story around. I'm just saying it was a bit of a letdown to see the twist happen all the way towards the end and then ending abruptly there.
Then again, maybe you'll continue this fanfic at some point. I would love to read that. Not only would it have stuff I don't already know by heart, but it would also bring about a rather cool storyline to check out.
Now, I'm not going to leave out one of the biggest parts of originality you wrote into this piece. Luke's thought process! Within the film, we obviously don't have access to Luke's thoughts and feelings as all this is happening, but within the written medium that's exactly what we have. How did I think it fared? I thought it was pretty solid. This definately feels like the Luke I know and love, and his thoughts as the scene progresses are pretty much what I would assume. Not that all of it is spotless, but I'll get around to that.
Alright, I'll write as I go along:
Edit
One word, and changed it from plural to singular. Unless, of course, there were several stormtroopers handcuffing him. Though that seems unlikely.He pushed against the restraints that the stormtrooper had placed on his wrists,
“Perhaps you think The Rebellion can win this war,”
What I noticed most of all as I read through this, was that you have some issues with your commas. In several places they are not necessary. I won't bring up every one of them, but I'll use a few examples. This is one. The comma in this sentence is unnecessary.The red lights flashing on the side, cast a glow on the mask of the monster.
“You are mistaken, Father,”
His father motioned him to followhim,
Like a snake, Luke thought.
He wondered.Obi-Wan always spoke about him,
Emperor got up from his throne and paced slowly towards him.
In some places you can easily replace 'said' with something else. I'll often try to mix it up.Just take it! A voice urged him. Kill them both, and you will have destroyed the Sith!
Ooh. This is pretty neat. O.oOnce they are dead, you can rule the Empire… Luke blinked, and clenched his hands tight.
Small edit.That horrible black mask, which the strained breathing sound came from,
But Luke could sense something inside of him.
“It is pointless to resist, my son,” Darth Vader said.
One word. You've been writing it correctly until now, and after this you also misspell it a couple of times.and focused on the shape of his lightsaber lying next to the Emperor arm.
This is another example of comma usage. I added two and removed one.Luke, in horror, turned and saw a bolt of greenish, white light shoot out from the Death Star and engulf one of the Rebel’s ships.
I do think his thoughts here are a bit too conflicting. He obviously needs to be conflicted here, but within the same thought he is remembering the good of Yoda's teachings, and yet, he has thoughts of totally accepting the dark side and ruling the galaxy.Yoda wasn’t always right, either, the other voice reminded. You could save the entire universe from the Empire, and rule in their place!
A bit unnecessary to have him toss the lightsaber aside here if he is going to use it just a moment later. And wait, if he was going to toss it at him, why would he wait until he was that close? Range isn't an issue. He could just slash him at this point.With the scream bouncing off the walls and echoing in his ears, he reached out with the Force, lifting his light saber from the ground—he ignited it—and threw it straight at his father.
Great job, sis! Love how you twisted the story up so Luke turns evil. I'll have to review this tomorrow
Knight r4 here to review this work and help throw it out of the Green Room, Therese. The title and description of this caught my eye so I decided to review it. Did you know that there are actually Star Wars books that have been published?! Anyways I certainly hope this helps you!
I don't think you need to capitalize father. I also think the wording in the last sentence could be improved. If you flipped it around it would sound much better!“You are mistaken, Father,” he said. “I will not become something twisted by the Emperor, like you have. This monster that you have created in yourself, called Darth Vader, I will never become like.
Noooooooooo! Luke, you idiot! The Dark Side DOES NOT HAVE COOKIES.
(In other news, is it sad that I read all of DV's dialogue in James Earl Jones' voice? Because I totally did.)
Also, are you going any further with this? Because Luke just did totally the wrong thing and you CANNOT END THIS YEAR, YOUNG LADY, OR SO HELP ME YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR A MONTH.
Love,
Mommy Dearest
Points: 708
Reviews: 75
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