I skid down the stairs of a library and took off for the nearest building. There was no time to waste. Sprinting across the street towards the entrance of an high rise apartment complex, I could feel the time ticking down fast. Silence had engulfed the city ever since they’ve been killed and the guilt is swallowing me whole. I could only hear the sound of my feet pounding on the cold asphalt and my breath tearing desperately at the chilly night air. Everything was so still, it felt unreal, like I was the only living being left on the planet… I knew better.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Right foot forwards.
Left foot follows.
And don’t look back.
I slammed open the glass doors just as an ear piercing screech erupted from the library. Here it comes. I hastily quickened my pace and flew up the staircase, 4 steps at a time. After a minute, suddenly the glass doors shattered and a painfully loud shriek exploded through the corridor as it charged into room after room, scouring the first floor for any signs of life like a maddened beast. Adrenaline pumping through my veins, I prayed the demon wont find the staircase for a few more minutes, when it burst through the door on the first floor, terrible screams of fury echoing through the air, urging me to run faster.
Somehow I made it to the twentieth floor before scrambling through the doorway and carefully closing the door. I could still hear the monster’s roars of indignation rapidly increasing in volume, screams that shook the steel door itself. Scanning the corridor of doors, a stream of moonlight flowed through the window at the end of the hall. I ran towards the light, legs nimble and barely making a sound, closing the distance. Start the countdown.
5
The demon’s calls were just below my floor.
4
I am almost halfway through, I smile despite such dire circumstances.
3
The deafening demon’s roar was outside the door. Unable to hear anything else, I still kept running, terror rising in my throat.
2
The horrid creature crashed through the steel door and sent part of the door flying into the ceiling. Almost there! I’m getting more desperate by the moment
1
Just One. More. Step. Just one more leap and I’ll be able to see my parents again. I can hear the demon sneering at me. It’s right behind me. Please. Just one more burst of speed and I’ll escape my death from the hands of that demon. Just ONE MORE JUMP and I’ll be free. JUST ONE LAST MOMENT OF THIS EXCRUCIATING HELL AND I’LL ESCAPE!
to escape
0
I crashed through the window, the weight of the world lifting from my shoulders as I started to free fall. I couldn’t even hear the monster anymore, only the blood pumping through my head making a sound in this silent society.
thump thump
I remembered the faces of my parents, their dying wish as they were eaten alive. I remember the policemen running away with the civilians, no one brave/foolhardy enough to confront the monster. I remember the streets littered with corpses. The stench of death filled every corner of the city. I remember. “RUN SON ESCAP-” CRUNCH!
And so I ran.
thump thump
I remember.
I remember the face of every person this beast has brutally slaughtered.
thump thump
I remember.
I remember the nights of dread and fear that we’ll be eaten in our sleep.
thump thump
I remember.
I remember the silence when I was the only one who escaped the ambush in time.
thump thump
The horrible silence…
thump thump
thump thump
thump thump
“No.”
I leapt forward and grabbed the emergency crowbar that hung beside the window and swung behind me. CLANG! It connected with the skull of the demon, its open mouth widening further from the impact, however it didn’t do much damage.
The demon rushed forward, recovering immediately, its gaping wide mouth with red teeth lunging for me. I sidestepped the best I could in the limited space I had and as it careened past me, I gave it a good whack on the back, bruising pale red skin… and sending it crashing through the window.
*huff huff huff
I stare at its flailing form growing smaller in the distance as it fell, shrieks of terror and anger shaking me down to my soul. Then the shrieks stopped as a loud crunch filled the air.
I walked to the broken window and sat down amidst all the shards. I felt empty, no thrill or glory. A lifeless corpse. Then a soft breeze brushed my sweaty form and gently touched my cheek.
And then I felt it. A single cold tear trickling down my right cheek and finding its way back to Earth.
The wind left and now I was all alone.
With the silence…
thump thump
breathe in
thump thump
hold it in
thump thump
And release.
the cry of a tormented lonely soul could be heard that night.
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139,203 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
Hey friend! Ellie here to leave a quick review on your short story
Ooh, very interesting plot and exciting beginning! We open with out character running... but from what or who? You set this up in a very exciting way. You show how they are breathing in and out, over and over, trying not to panic. Wow, being the only person left on the planet? Terrifying!
You do a really good job making me scared reading this! This is a super intense scene. I love how many details you included, like the screeches of this demon and the roars. You also do a great job describing the persons legs being nimble. I bet they were exhausted after running up so many stairs! Oooh countdown! Where is this going next?
You wrote this with a lot of description in the next section. It seems like this person is terrified and is remembering things from the past. Makes a lot of sense in this situation that they are trapped in and getting chased.
Love how you ended this so much. The detail of tormented and lonely soul is actually really powerful and such a wonderful finishing touch! Overall, this was a quick short story, but absolutely action packed!
Keep writing!!
Your friend,
Ellie
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: I think this is a powerful little tale. This chase is described quite incredibly and I think it builds up really well to that little flashback and then the actual final moments there. Really nicely done.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Ooh well we're certainly starting off in the midst of quite the chase there. I love the way this begins i think it works very well to establish exactly what's happening and the stakes that we're dealing with.
Ooh I'm loving those little lines there to really show the power of what's going on and the thought process during this moment. I think that's really well done here and the way it escalates again is beautifully done.
Oh dear things are getting closer and closer there the further we go. I just absolutely adore how the tension builds here. It really adds so much here in the description.
Oh this is just amazing I think, the way you construct it together with the countdown. Once again just adding to the overall tension beautifully. Loving this build up so much
Ahh that climax I think was beautifully constructed there. Definitely matches the tension you've built up really beautifully there. Let's see where we go next.
Well that is definitely quite the thing to have to remember while running away from a horror like that. The images you're creating here are quite incredible here just so visceral especially with the small sound effects that are added in.
Ahh the constant noises here are just beautiful at showcasing the memories that he's going through and just nailing home those feelings. I think you've done an excellent job once again as we transition into this almost flashback of a section.
Oooh looks like after the chase really comes to a head our protagonist has no choice but to just get to fighting it here. Loving the start of this so far you really showcase the power of the demon and how we're scrambling to survive here.
Well this is a powerful ending. Going through all of that and finally managing to actually except it happens at the cost of having to now exist in this tortured dying world all alone. Quite the moment that.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a lovely piece this, really hits you quite hard with the visceral emotion present here and the way you manage the pace and the tension throughout there.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate