Published October 9, 2014
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,548 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
I love autumn! And this just made me love it more
I apologize for the short review, I'm so overwhelmed on how this poem is just so beautiful. I literally can't stop reading it. Imagery is everywhere and there's this easing feeling throughout the poem, but there's this chill going up and down to the spine while reading. It's really fantastic!
Keep up the good work! Don't stop writing amazing masterpieces like this
Hello TheWeater.. im here to review.
First of all, I love your poem. The metaphore & how you described Autumn is very intelligent & so beautiful.
The only thing that disturbed when reading is how you broke th lines. I mean when you said:
" a goodbye before hello, a storm
before the rain; death before life"
It felt awkward. At first i was looking for "what's before the rain" I had to read the line again to understan you mean the "storm".
Overall, it's amazing & i so love it. keep up
I'm kind of in a rush, so I apologize for the short review. One main thing is that every single line of a poem needs to be capitalized, even if it seems grammatically incorrect. Otherwise it's all good with conventions. I just want to leave saying that this is a really awesome, beautiful poem, and I absolutely love the metaphors and the descriptions that really allow you picture everything and remember the beauty and pain of autumn. Great job!!
Every single line being capitalised is optional in poetry, it wouldn't work in this instance I think. Thanks for reviewing
It's absolutely beautiful. I love the way the figurative language is used, especially "it took both the leaves and her sanity." I feel what you're trying to express. It's perfect.
That was really good.
I love how it was really and how she was lovely and sweet
Hello, WindSailor here to review your poem! Wow, I liked it almost immediately after reading the first stanza, your metaphors and imagery are top notch.
I absolutely loved the way you described the season here. You explained how it acts so opposite, like a language in reverse. I just cannot get over the amount of beauty you presented in such a short description.Also, I liked how you basically have two stanzas, with a filler line in between. It gave some breather room, and it acted as a transition between the two stanzas.
I have nothing bad to say about this poem at all. I have to admit, I haven't read much of your work, and I did't know what to expect coming into it, but you met and exceeded them all. This poem was really well done. Great job and keep writing!
hello, TheWeather! (appropriate name for the author of this piece)
I really enjoyed this poem! Autumn is my very favorite season, and you displayed it well.
I loved your wording, but I would have liked a bit more imagery to make me really use all my senses to FEEL this beautiful season.
Another thing I would suggest is making the line/stanza breaks a bit less awkward.
For example:
As the wind persistently blew, it
took both her leaves and her sanity.
I would break it up like so:
As the wind persistently blew,
it took both her leaves and her sanity.
In this case, it flows much nicer and feels more natural to the reader, especially if reading aloud. You might not even need the punctuation here. Poetry can be used as an outlet to get away from technical conventions, because it's all about the imagery and "abstract" content.
Very nicely done. I enjoyed this piece a lot.
Keep writing!
~iron.n