My mind sucker

by TheUnknownPoet
  • October 8, 2010
  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

You know that moment when you fall out of doubt because your mind sucker just absorbed up all. I do. It just now happened to me this very moment

I was happy, she knows me like I know her

I was scared cause it’s freaky, you know, like mind suckers are

But all in all I appreciate her mind, as she sucked most of it from me
and I am egotistical after all

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Lumi
Review
Lumi wrote a review · Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:50 pm

TheUnknownPoet wrote:You know that moment when
you fall out of doubt because
your mind#FF0000 ">-sucker just absorbed up#FF0000 ">(it?) all#FF0000 ">?

I do.
It just now happened
to me this very moment

I was happy#FF0000 ">;
she #FF0000 ">knew me like
I #FF0000 ">knew her

I was scared #FF0000 ">because it’s freaky,
you know, like mind suckers are

But all in all I appreciate
her mind, as she sucked
most of it from me#FF0000 ">;
and I am egotistical#FF0000 ">, after all#FF0000 ">.


Okay, so simply and quickly, this poem is a bit awkward to me. There's not really very much poetic about it...just about an abstract story. A mind-sucker sucks your mind. And that's it. Try adding imagery or metaphors or something...

You'll notice I edited spacing and entering and punctuation and stuff, so try to incorporate that.

-Lumiface



The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
— Mark Twain