Published October 5, 2010
This poem could be a thousand lines
And span the internet, and yet
The love I feel for you would not fit
Not even if I folded it up really small
And tried to squeeze it into one suitcase.
I’d fall off my seat a thousand times
And tape each foot to the wall
And salsa to the samberine
If I thought it would make you happy
And wipe away your angry face.
I will come at your every buzz-
-even if you don’t want anything important.
You are my word, and my paint, and my google
You are the long skinny block in tetris that makes everything right
You light my written trail with your smile and your laugh
I would carry you in my mirror
Because you are the light of my life
And I don’t know how to end this poem,
So, choos mon boose.
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
There's nothing much left for me to review because the reviews part is pretty much covered. Anyway, I enjoyed reading it. Continue writing to improve your writings. Keep writing because practice makes prefect.
Good luck and keep writing,
Alicia.
This is so cute! It does seem rushed, which is good because the feelings you describe are very in-the-moment and passionate. I quite like thisI don't think I understand the title - your only reference to it is in the last line (I think). You should add more about her being royalty or else change the title, just to be more clear - though I think it works either way. Just a couple nitpicks...
You need periods at the end of all those lines. Capitalize Google and Tetris, too.
I love this line
I agree that some of it doesn't flow as well as it could - these feelings pour out of you, unstoppable, and some of your diction seems awkward and interrupts this flow. Overall, though, I love this. I can really relate to it and thought you did a very good job. Keep writing!
-Liz
I really don't like to nitpick on poetry, since it's poetry.
I find it really cute though. I like that you called it French Queen of my Life, but I don't understand why. You could have said something as to why it'a called that.
Also, is Choos mon boose supposed to be French?? I've been taking French for four years....I don't know it.
This seems a little random. But it's still a sweet poem. I bet you came up with it as you wrote, didn't you? If not, sorry if I offended you. xD
It was flowing well up until this part. I think it might be because all the different images make it harder to picture.
Anyway, nice poem. Keep writing!
~Crazy