C'est la vie

Hello!
This was an interesting concept. I like how it had a dark tone, but wasn't dark.
The rhythm was pretty good, in my opinion, actually, and usually I don't like this short choppy thing going on here.

I don't really like the way this started. It sounds like there should be more before it. That can create a cool effect, but I think it's a weakish way of starting a poem.

My main advice is to avoid cliches. I'll let you determine what those are, but you might want to examine your poem with a critical eye. (Let me give you a hint. Things that are really melodramatic tend to be cliche. Same with the word "poison" when referring to mental things, in my opinion.)

I liked the ending, it goes nicely with the title.

Let me know if you have any questions! Keep writing!

Hey there! This is really sweet, though I admit to needing Google Translate to figure out the title. Once I did that, everything made sense, and I commend you on the excellent use of a title.

The interesting thing about this is how short and really rather choppy it is. I think that was a great idea - it doesn't convey very much emotion, which fits with how the narrator is at the beginning, refusing to live life and feel.

Something you could have done, which I think might resonate more to the reader, is to gradually make it more flowing and emotional towards the end. I think that would help to show the reader how the narrator changes. Right now, the ending falls a bit flat for me because there isn't any emotion to it and it's exactly the same style as the rest of the poem.

Also, it looks like you meant to have this be in stanzas, but YWS formatting messed up on you. If that's the case, here's the trick: use shift+enter on normal lines, and just enter when you want to make a new stanza. It's kind of counter-intuitive, but that's how it is.

If you didn't mean for this to be in stanzas, I'd recommend making them anyway. Your poem is already set up in groups of three lines - it'll look tidier to put them into stanzas.

And that's about it. I really do like the idea - I especially appreciated how the narrator described life as 'poison.'

Good luck and keep writing!

Oh My Gosh! You joined YWS on my 14th birthday

Sorry, *ahem* Review yes that.

Firstly, WHAT AN AMAZING SET UP AND FLOW really smooth read didn't distract from the poem at all. I actually looked up this phrase "that's life" . So what you're saying here is that this person was hiding from life when they really just had to let go and live it and stop worrying. Man, I wish I could do that ... I guess you gotta face the music sometime huh . Now, why does it go from poison to roses and sky ? I am assuming what the dreaded this whole time was actually really sweet ? If so, wonderful contrast . This is really relate-able for me because I hide from life a lot and maybe I should just relax and I would enjoy it more.

Nice repetition and word choices.

Thanks
~Kat

Here is my interpretation.

"It tells wonderful tales, Sad beginnings with happy endings, Lies." This line makes me believe that this person is somewhat cynical. They believe that they're are no happy endings. Then, "Soon I stop resisting, I give into the poison, Let go. I embrace the sky, Smell the roses, And live life." They eventually they give into the good things in life and focus on those things.

Perhaps it wasn't what you were trying to express in this particular poem but that is what I got for it. Also, I looked up C'est la vie because I had no clue what it meant. (it means 'such is life' correct?) anyways, I was just wondering why you chose that as your title.

Overall I think it is a good poem.

Ahh! Not the voice! Haha. Nice job here on this one. It begins with the bothersome voice that gets to us all at times, torturing us with its constant lies, exagerations, and demeaning words used to describe ourselves. We must conquer this voice and not allow it to drives us insane or to the point of being suicidal. This is why people have depression and bullies need to be corrected. I like the desperation given with 'I cover my ears and pray, pray for it to go away' as she/he is desperate for the voice to just leave her alone. But then she gives up the fight and embrace the poison like a Romeo and Juliet impression. She embraces her freedom and literally smells the roses and lives life. Beautifully done. I'll follow for more. Feel free to review my work Can You Hear Me sometime.