I want to remove the world's pain

I like this poem. It is inspirational . It tells us what a truly selfless service to our people can bring us .It gives us the strength to look beyond the barriers man has set up. It can be used to put forward an example of what a real character should be like . This has the depth of how high the morals of a strong person can be and further what strong will power a true person can have .

I really like this poem, it tells quite a story without giving too much away. You also get a good sense of the emotion behind the poem through the wording.

I also love the use of the picture in the background, because you don't tend to get that a lot.

My advice to you would be to stick to a stanza scheme, keep the stanzas the same length or have them in a clear pattern.

Another thing is, you have some words that are rhyming and others that are not, and this stops it from flowing so smoothly. A good thing to do is pick a rhyme scheme or to not use one.

The only other thing I can think to say is to consider using the same number of syllables in each line, to help it read better.

Otherwise, keep it up

hi there Sheikh'sSpear,

I must say, you're title is really very catchy and I like the tone of the poem and the style it's written in. It seems to go from melancholy to excited. Like the tempo is increasing. I like the idea behind the poem and the way it is conveyed.

The words you have chosen and the way it has been put together make it seem like everything is supposed to rhyme. Maybe you could look into making it rhyme.

Since poems are broken into lines, in order not to confuse your reader, you should only capitalize at the beginning of a sentence if it is beginning the sentence.
e.g "Too much, too much the wait
and the mistake upon mistake."
All in all, I didn't really find anything wrong with it. Maybe you should give us a sense of some of these things you would like to change too. It might make for a more interesting read.
Look forward to reading your work
-Swavvy.

hello my name is Hannah and here is my review.
I love the title of this poem "I want to remove the world's pain" and I think that this is an amazing poem. I love how you have used a photo in the background of your poem that was a really creative and artistic thing to do and yeah that's my review and I look forward to reading your other poems and I think you should keep up the good work

This is Atsmai here for a review!

First off, I like the style you wrote it in. Props to you for that.

Now, I can actually help and stuff.

My main problem here is that you bring nothing new to the table. I've heard the poem, "Wash all the pain away" before. A million times. Let's try and mix it up, put a twist to it, or try something different.

The style you wrote it in also might have a few problems. It isn't very smooth with the wording, and to that I suggest maybe you rhyme in this? Because I felt like it was trying to rhyme with the words but it was always off a beat. In this, you rhyme in some sentences, but don't in others. There are rhyming patterns such as ABBA you could follow instead of rhyming in random places and not in others. This is just a note because it'll help the flow of the poem.

The poem is kind of choppy with how you rhyme in some not in others and then the wording you use? I suggest you may want to smooth it over.

Overall Rating and Opinion: I like the backbone theme of the poem, but not the way you put into it as much.

I hope this helps and have a great day!

Hey there!

Before I begin, I have to say that the title of this poem and the words you chose to lure in your readers was very affective- awesome job!

Now, I must say I like the selected topic of the poem. It's realistic, personal and very relatable, which I'm sure all of your readers are likely to agree on!

I also liked how you truly reflected your personal feelings and incorporated it into the poem- nice touch! The words at the end were clearly written to inspire your readers to take action, no matter how small they offer to helping the world. I think that it's a powerful poem and you have written and constructed it well.

Also, the fact that you have published your poem by use of a photograph and words written over the top is extremely effective, which only adds to some the verses in the poem- love it!

Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your works because you have just earned yourself a follow!


MissLyricz x

P.S. Let me know when you've published a new work, I would love to read and review it!