Words.
They float around me
Like water.
But some just never wash away
They become heavy weights
Resting on my shoulders
It feels like duct tape on my mouth, but
They're trapped in a jail inside me.
Waiting to break free.
But I know, one day,
They’ll find the courage
To slip out
To be free.
At last.
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141,105 Literary Works • 674,105 Reviews
Hi !!
So, y'all have been wanting to see my other works, so here you go. Hope you enjoy it!!
p.s - Keep suggesting!
hi
i really liked the poem, and the descriptions were amazing, i just feel like the ending was a bit abrupt, and didn't feel fully resolved. overall, great poem
Hello, JustBug here with a review!
Praise:
This was a beautiful and highly relatable poem. You began the poem with such powerful imagery, such as in these lines:
and
This creates such a beautiful and effective contrast to your writing!
Then, you say:
Which really captures how it feels to be trapped in your own mind, not being able to speak the words you want to say so badly.
Critique:
While the metaphors you used were great, they are a bit confusing all together. For instance, you say:
and then, later on, you say:
Putting them further apart could sound better, or just carrying one metaphor throughout the whole thing would fix the flow.
Overall, this was a great and highly relatable poem! Thank you, have a good night/day, and be safe!
Oh thank you JuneBug!
Appreciate it