A Game of Hearts, Part 1

Hi! I'm here to review

I gave you my heart,
To mend and repair.
Something you said
"Will take time and care."

But now I'm left here,
With no heart at all.
Waiting, wanting, wondering for more.
I like this part.

You have left me no options.
A life without love,
No together forever.
No church, no dove.
I like this part.

Now I fill this hole,
With all that I know,
A broken home.
A place to go.

I hold no vendetta.
For you have not won,
We play for passion.
And I have just begun.

I brought down my guard
And came under attack.
You have my heart
But now I want it back.

I loved this! The imagry and metaphors used were very high quality. So proud of you!!! I expect to see more. If I didn't know you I'd still get exactly what you were talking about because you played your motions out flawlessly and painfully. It was like listening to Amy Winehouse performed by some gritty slam poet. Your work is quite raw at the momen but that's expected because you very new to writing. My advice to you is to kep on writing out your feelings and emotions but afterwards look over, read it out to yourself and add punctuation wher necessary. Always remember these are your emotions your writing so make sure you do them justice. Saying that, I feel like you really have here and I couldn't be more proud.
-Matt XX

Hello there,

My first impressions of this poem were how deep and dramatic it is ;3
Then as I read on I realise that it is much more then that ... It's deep , dramatic , emotional and amazing !
Well done you have a great talent!
Keep on writing xx

Lorna
xx

Hello Im Sian xox Um I Am Very Impressed With Your Use Of Descriptive Words And Catching Verses Of Your Dramatic Poem.
It Gave Me Quite A Warm Feeling Like I Wanted To Join In The Revenging Plot That You Planned To Attack In The Poem.
Um Nothing Needs Improving Really All Well And Correct .Well Done You Have A Gift For Writing xox

Sian xox